Ayla: Always an Alpha

Chapter 22 - Freshen Up

He shook his head and gently grabbed my hand by my fingers. "I just wanted to come see you. You haven't come over to hang out in a while."

I felt awful immediately. Saleem was my only real friend here, and I'd been so busy with Killian and the assassination attempts that we hadn't even had a good conversation in a long time.

"You're right," I agreed. "I'm sorry. We can watch a movie tonight? We never finished our Lord of the Rings marathon. I can be free if you're free."

"Always." Saleem smiled.

He was typically  so reserved that most people never noticed his smiles, but I'd learned to pick out even the slightest upturns at the corners of his mouth.

"Perfect," I smiled back. "I'll come over after the pack dinner?"

"That works." He squeezed my hand and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before turning to leave.

I waited for him to begin descending the stairs before I slid my room door open just enough for me to fit back through.

Killian hadn't moved from his spot on the chair and didn't bother to go through the immense trouble of glancing up when I slipped in.

I scoffed. It's almost like he thought his little "loverboy" comment was not petty nonsense.

"You know what would be nice?" I began as my hands came up to my hips. "I would really appreciate it if you two could just get along with each other and stop with this bullshit."

When Killian didn't dain to shift his attention from my laptop, I continued. "Loverboy? What the hell is your problem? He's not some lovesick child. He's an adult and one that is damn good at what he does. His name is Saleem. Use it."

Killian shut the laptop and placed it against the side of my armchair in one quick motion. "My problem with him," Killian declared, leaning back into the chair and crossing his ankles as if this all amused him greatly, "is that he's exactly that. A lovesick child. And he's not good at what he does. If he had been, I would have been dead before we met."

"That's not fair to say. You're an assassin, Killian, and you have a very accurate scent replica. That's outside of the realm of most tracker's capabilities."

He scoffed. "He has the capability. He just doesn't have the focus. Instead of doing his job, he spends too much of his time trying to get you to love him back."

"See that's where you're wrong. We've been friends for a very long time. He doesn't love me like that."

"You sure about that?"

"I'm sure. He doesn't."

Killian stared so pointedly at my cheek that I had to stop myself from reaching up to wipe it. There's no way he knew Saleem had just kissed me there; it's not like the man wore lipstick. Besides, Saleem had always been a touchy person with me. A kiss goodbye on the cheek meant nothing to him.

"He doesn't," I repeated.

"You know, you always have a lot to say when you know you're right but very little to say when you know you're wrong."

Stunned, my lower jaw dropped open slightly.

"There's nothing wrong with you two being in love," Killian said. "I just think he should either make an effort to keep his love life and duties separate or give up his position."

"We're not... I don't..."

Killian was right; I was at a loss for words.

"While you may not love him now," Killian's voice turned soft as suddenly as his coffee eyes turned sympathetic, "I think you could, in the future, and there would be nothing wrong with that, as long as he gets his act together."

I was angry. I was confused. I was disappointed. All my interactions with Saleem had begun to play out in my head, and I felt very, very stupid and very, very insensitive.

"I can't," I said after a while of silence. "I won't ever."

Killian understood without needing any elaboration. "Well, why not?"

"He's my friend. I don't think I'd ever see him that way," I said simply, when really I meant 'he couldn't ever compare to you.'

I didn't love Killian, but I could see why we were mates. I needed someone that challenged me, someone that didn't just back down when I tried to stomp all over them. Saleem would never be that person for me.

Killian was quiet.

Needing a moment alone to think, I announced, "I'm going to work in my office. I need to prepare for my afternoon meeting."

~~~

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I finally got over some serious writer's block I was having at a spot later on in the story, so I'm going to attempt to post on a regular bi-weekly schedule. I like to be pretty ahead in my writing. Sometimes I'll go and re-write scenes many chapters before the one I'm working on just so I can set the future scene right. This chapter is an example of that. There were things I wish I could've added into earlier chapters, but when I was writing this chapter, I had already posted the ones I wanted to edit. I'm telling you all this because I want you to know that I will complete this book, even if it is at an irregular pace. I promise.

Question of the week: What do you need in a significant other? Someone who challenges you, someone who likes to remind you of all the things they like about you? Better yet, what's your love language?