STAMP OF APPROVAL - a selection story

finally

C H A R L O T T E

written by animationchic/aOK706

round sixteen ||

July 11th

2:47 pm

"I choose you."

I can't stop my smile as I say the words, finally, out loud for Levi to hear. There, it's done. I finally told him. I finally told Levi that I choose him, that I will always choose him, that I've always chosen him, even when he was just a name in a pile of applications. Finally, I can breathe again and I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted from my chest.

I glance over at Levi, waiting for him. He seems stunned and I hope it's a good thing. I hope this is good news for him, though I guess I never really asked Levi how he felt about me. But I thought I knew... I mean, I do, right?

I reach out and take his hands, almost surprised by how much my own are shaking. Once I interlace our fingers though, I feel myself relaxing once more. Him letting me touch him is good, even if he still hasn't said anything.

Why hasn't he said anything?

I can feel my face start to fall as I squeeze one of Levi's hands. That seems to get through to him because his voice starts to work once more, though not very well.

"I—" he swallows, cutting himself off and something about him seems off. Now that I look closer, that seems like panic in his eyes. I lean up on my elbow, squeezing his hands tight and that seems to get him started again. "I'm- I don't know what to say."

I can see him struggling to stay in control and I worry my lower lip. What is going on? Is he not happy? Does he not realize what this means?

"Are you sure, Charlotte?"

The question almost startles a laugh out of me. My grin slips back into place as I nod, "I'm sure."

I am. I am so sure that it's Levi. If it was ever going to be anyone in this group of guys, in any group of guys, it was going to be Levi. Even if I had to do it all over again, I would still choose Levi. The fact seems so obvious to me. But now I'm realizing it might not be so obvious to Levi.

So I need to make myself clear.

"I love you, Levi."

I'm no longer holding back. I'm putting all of myself out there. I love him. I love this man and as I gaze at him, he's getting increasingly more difficult to read. My heart starts to fall as I watch tears fill his eyes. Maybe Ambrose was right. Maybe Levi doesn't want to be here, doesn't want this... doesn't want me.

Maybe I was wrong.

"Levi?" I say his name again, trying to get him to focus but he doesn't seem capable of anything more than a hum. I want to reach out and check his forehead but something tells me not to let go of his hands. So instead I ask, "Are you okay?"

He shakes his head then and something in me stops. All the elation I felt in finally knowing, all the excitement I felt in finally telling him, is drifting away. It's running through my hands like sand and I worry I'll never get it back.

"It's just... it's a lot," Levi says, breaking my hold on one of his hands to run through his hair. He glances all around the underside of the car we're still under, not able to meet my eyes as he finally asks another question. "Why? Why me?"