Zayns pov
I look at myself at the mirror. I have anorexia and depression so this isn't the best idea of me.
God i look ugly and fat in this stupid mirror. What does Ni see in me? How can he love me? I start look at my stomach and squeeze in it. Thats a lot of fat on it.
I am ugly and fat. It's a fact and i just wanna leave this stupid world. I just can't. Niall needs me and i need him but god what do i look fat in these clothes.
How does niall pretend so good? He is so good at pretending to love me! All my ex girlfriends just used me for the money and told me horrible things like how ugly i am and fat.
Niall hasn't yet. I know he thinks that but he did save me. I hated him for that but he did.
I try to convince myself i look okay but i just can't. I look so ugly and fat. What does Niall see in me? All i see is lots of fat and an ugly face.
I get out of my thought when i feel 2 arms around my waist. Great now he feels how fat i am!
"You look great love. Wanna go for a walk with max?" He asks. He has his head on my shoulder and looks at us in the mirror. "I look like shit," i say. "I don't see shit on you. I do see your beautiful black hair, your gorgeous brown eyes and all your great tattoos," i blush a little.
"Come on Max wants to go out. I hate it to see you looking angry at the mirror," he says. I smile as he grabs my hand. I grab my package with cigarettes so i can smoke.
Nialls pov
We walk outside. I love these small moments where i just hold his hand. "I have a night shift tomorrow so you don't need to wait for me. I will make you food and if i find out you didn't eat it i will wake you up and push it in your mouth," i say stern. "And i will check the trashcan too!" I tell him and he smiles.
I don't like to see him looking in the mirror cus i know what he thinks than. "Okay boss," Zayn says and we go back. "Do you need to work on your birthday and which one? The caffee or the hospital?" Zayn asks. "I need to work from 8 till 2 at the caffee. You can pick me up! I won't look so good,"
He hits the back of my head soft. "Ouch!" I say rubbing my head. "Don't talk bad about yourself!" I look at him. "Don't do it yourself either than! You're so beautiful and than you think your fat? I know it's your anorexia but you are beautiful and handsome!" I tell him.
He gives max his food and we jump on the couch. "You free today?" I ask. "Yeah," he comes next to me and i wanna cuddle. "Wanna cuddle?" Zayn asks and i nod. He comes behind me and i hide my face in his chest.
"Oh Niall. One day you'll see how ugly and fat i am," i hear zayn whispering. "I won't," i whisper back. "I thought you fell asleep!" He says. "Nope. I love you zayn!" I say. I hold on to him tight.
I love him to much to loose. I've already last him almost once. That was the second time we met. Our first time was in the caffee where i work and i spilled coffee all over him. He only would forgive me if i gave him my number and so i did. 2 months later he came in the OR cus he had cut himself way to deep. That was 4 years ago. 2 years ago we started dating and 1 year ago i started living with him.
"Niall? Earth to niall?" I hear and i look at zayn. "Whats wrong?" I ask. "Hey dreamy what do you wanna get for your birthday," he asks as he chuckles. "I don't know. You know me better than anyone," i say.
