Kata-Kataku || Abdul Kahar

Fikiran- 7

Hakeem rushed over to Kahar who's leaning onto the sink.

"Weh Kahar, takpe takpe, kau kat kudrat, kau okay, aku ada," Hakeem said, trying to reassure Kahar who's having a panic attack.

Kahar began coughing violently, he couldn't breathe properly! He felt like the walls were closing in on him, he felt as if a force was trying to squish him.

"Kahar, Kahar takpe it's okay... Aku ada... Ikut aku okay? Tarik nafas.... Tahan.... Lepas.... Okay lagi sekali, kau rasa ni," Hakeem carefully guided Kahar's hand to his chest.

"Ikut denyutan aku okay? Aku nak kau buat sampai kita dua dua sama," Hakeem said sternly.

They did the same practice for over 5 minutes before Kahar finally calmed down enough to speak.

He was now sitting on the ground, leaning onto the bathroom wall.

'Maaf,'

He mouthed, yet no sound came out.

"Aku kan kawan kau? Apa gunanya kita kawan kalau waktu kau susah aku takde?" Hakeem said softly, kneeling in front of him.

"Kau okay tak? Kenapa tadi?" Hakeem asked with a worried tone.

'Ayah datang,'

Kahar signed tiredly.

"Ayah kau datang? Dia nak apa? Kau tak jawab pun takpe," Hakeem hurriedly reassure Kahar who looked quite stress.

'Takpe, aku pun nak cerita ngan someone... Ayah aku nak berbaik dengan aku, tapi... Aku tak ready. Aku memang nakkan semua ni sejak aku kecik tapi... Aku tak sanggup untuk disakiti lagi... Macam mana kalau semua ni permainan sahaja? Apa jadi kalau dia jadi macam dulu balik? '

Kahar signed before releasing a sigh of frustration.

'Apa aku patut buat Keem? Betapa susah aku nak lupa kan apa adik beradik aku buat kat aku, itu pun sikit je ni.. Ayah aku. Dia herdik aku, hina aku, pukul aku, dia cakap aku ni bawak sial keluarga dia... Dia tak mengaku aku anak dia,'.

Kahar rested his hands for a while before signing again, he knew that Hakeem didn't know what to say so he quickly reassured Hakeem that he didn't need to say anything.

'Aku takkan boleh banggakan ayah aku, aku beria nak jaga hati dia, hati abang-abang aku, kakak aku. Jadi siapa nak jaga hati aku Keem? Apa aku ni? Tunggul?'

Kahar signed furiously.

It was silence for a while.

'Kau patut balik dorm Keem, aku nak round sekolah jap. Nak tenangkan diri, terima kasih sebab tolong aku,'.

Kahar signed before standing up and walking away briskly from Hakeem who spluttered in surprise.

He didn't want to burden the other with his problems.

He stopped by the Kudrat Square and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that his father had gone back, his car was gone and even Kak Mia was nowhere to be seen.

As he walked through the corridors, flashbacks of traumatising experiences, the incident, his father's beating sessions and the times where his siblings hated him.

'Aku sorang jeke beria nak jaga hati diorang? Dah tu aku ni siapa? Tunggul kayu?' Kahar thought furiously as he kicked the tiny stones in his way.

But his siblings... They've changed right? They're not his siblings who used to hate him in their teenage hood.

Though his father... What makes Kahar think that he could change? He barely have any good memories of his father and most of them are when his father ignores him.