Not In The Same Way [1]

XVII.

Chapter Eighteen- The letters

"What?" She asked.
"I know you don't love me like that and that's okay." he told her.
"You can't just spring something like that on me Archibald" she said pulling away.
"I know and I'm sorry". Claire opened her door.

"Well? Your clothes are in here, and I've gotten used to you here so come in" she said and he smiled at her.

"Also can we not mention that to our friends. Please" she folded her arms.
Eliot Archibald could tell she wasn't comfortable spilling something like that to them.
"Tell me when you're ready. I'm gonna shower" He told her and gave her a kiss on the cheek before he went upstairs.
Claire did the same thing and when she came out she saw him laying in bed.

"You don't know where the guest bedroom is?" She asked.
"I can go if you want?" He asked.
"I was kidding" she chuckled.

They heard something at the window.
"I'm the only one that supposed to throw rocks at your window" Eliot Archibald got and up and they saw Carter throwing rocks at her window.

"Never told me he was the cliche type" he said staring at him.
"He hates them" Claire said and rushed downstairs.

"Hey Claire" he smiled at her.
"Hey..." she said not sure what was going on.
"I know it's late. But... I called Kai" he told her and her eyes went wide.
"You still have my brothers number?"
"Well, yeah. I also have your number, Scott's Spencer, Vereena. Even Derek" he rambled.
"I called him and when he heard I was back in town, he didn't have many pleasant things to say. Don't blame him. But he told me you wrote me letters" he told her frowning.

"Okay? Why did you come here? You could've called me?" She asked.
"No I couldn't have. You wouldn't answer. I know it's not my place but- can I have those letters?" He asked making her scoff.
"Oh, you want the letters? The letters I wrote to you after you left us. The letters I poured my feelings out. The letters of how I felt whenever I had a feeling we were thinking of each other at the same time?" She raged.

"Oh. Of course you can. Let me just get the three books filled with them" she rushed back inside, hot tears going down her face. She grabbed the three notebooks and threw them at Carter.
"Take them! Do what you want with them. Respond, burn, throw away. I don't need them anymore" she said and he picked them up.

Carter went back and he saw his brother waiting for him in the living room.
"You shouldn't have gone to her house" he said sketching.
"I needed the letters" he answered holding up the books.
"She's happy now. I know you want her back but, she's moved on" he explained to her.
"I didn't date or even think about any girl when we went to Kansas. Seb I love her".
"I know. Just when you read those letters, think about how Claire felt reading them".

Carter went to his room and opened the book.

"I hate you. I hate you so much Carter. Why the fuck did you leave? I'm so mad at you right now. But at the same time I need you. Why did you have to leave right after he died?"

"After the funeral my family asked about you. I just said you weren't comfortable coming. When really you left us. I got the letter. A month late but it's okay. For being in AP English it was a horrible written letter. I laughed when I got it. It was hilarious. You writing a letter explaining what you did even though I knew it was happening".

Carter decided if he wanted to understand he needed to read the ones where the pages were folded by the corner.

Sep 18

"It's been a year. I've gotten used to you not being here. It's comforting in some ways. Hope everything is well in Kansas. I don't want to wish anything bad on you. I just know I can't. We were friends. Friends that had feelings for one another. But we couldn't start anything. Start something we couldn't finish. Thank god we didn't start anything right?"

"Life is good I guess. My mom started to go back to work. Although the house is quiet. Vereena can come over sometimes. The twins too. But it's only for a while. They don't come over after school like how you used to on a daily basis".

"Some kid tried asking me to the lacrosse game for a 'date'. The way he was smirking he didn't just wanted a date. It was disgusting. But it's normal now, you not being here. So please, don't come back. I just started getting used to you not being here".

"Missing you always,

            Claire Valentine"

Dec 3

"It's two years now. Kai visited again. It was nice having him and my mom home. Seeing her happy. But she stays at the hospital longer than her own house. Sometimes I think it's my fault. She doesn't want to come home just to see her daughter. I think I'm a reminder that dad's gone. So I don't beg her to come home. Or force her, I don't blame her".

"No no, baby it's not your fault" Carter mumbled as he read.

"I don't think she'll be home for Christmas. I have gone to her work sometimes. Her interns talk to me more. They're fun to be with. I think I know my way around the hospital now. That and I think I've been so desperate to talk to her that I've mesmerized how long which procedure is. That's how desperate I am to talk to her. I know which ones are 30 minutes to which take 13 hours. The things I learn there, I have enough information to pull off being an intern"

"I tried that one time. That was when my mom finally talked to me. More like yelled. But I get it, she's stressed. When she gets home I can smell the alcohol on her. It's fine"

"Missing you always,

            Claire Valentine"

He felt so bad about the things Claire was going through when he left. He also felt bad about how many things she put in herself.

"It's been a while since I wrote to you Carter. I've been busy that's all. With all the stuff going on in my life. Biology is getting more hard. Starting to regret reading all those books in grade school. I should visit you. Well I am when i deliver this letter"

"I'm getting better at the violin. I still struggle since you were at the house but i'm getting there. I miss you" As Claire wrote down the letter she tried her best not to get her tears on the paper. She quickly wiped them with her sleeve and continued to write.

"Hey, i finally decided to knock" Eliot Archibald said as Kai opened the door downstairs. "Character development. Very proud" He joked and moved out the way for he can come in. "She's upstairs. But you shouldn't bother her right now" Kai told him. "Is something wrong? Is she okay?" He asked. "She's writing a letter to someone and she doesn't like to be bothered" He explained. "Oh, that's understandable".

"Scott finally asked V out. Along with Kai and Spencer. I'm really happy for them" Claire wrote down and she was debating on weather or not to write down what she was thinking. "Hey Carter, there is this boy. Now before you freak out. There is nothing romantic. He's an Archibald. They say they're heart breakers. I let him in Carter, I finally let someone in after you left. I hope you're proud"

"He's sweet. Annoying but sweet. He has this special smile where he only wears it when i'm around. He's probably just jokingly flirting. I always call him by his full name. He only does it when we're joking. This boy doesn't give up. It's annoying sometimes. Sometimes. He always does this thing where if I say no he'll just smile and stare at me until i change my mind. It worked in the beginning but it's hard to keep that up".

"He took me to the carnival. He also plays Rick Montgomery outside my window whenever he wants to hang out. Honestly would it hurt him to knock on the door? But I don't mind, none the less"

"It was always hard letting people in after you left. It was hard letting him in. But his dumbass wouldn't give up. But eventually I let him in. I know you probably think it was a mistake. But it wasn't, Carter it wasn't. It was one of the best decisions i have ever made. I don't regret it one bit. And if i had a change to go back and change it, I wouldn't. Because I trust him".

"You're probably wondering his name is name. It's Eliot Archibald".

"Missing you always,

            Claire Valentine"