March // John Shelby x Reader - Peaky Blinders

Chapter 37

I wake in the night, my head snapping up to the sound of broken glass and someone singing merrily as they walk the grounds right below us.

John stirs, his eyes blinking open as he wraps me up in silk and pulls me closer. "Just Arthur," he says softly. "Are you cold?"

I shake my head as I lay back down beside him. "Not with you."

And it's true, he's like my own furnace, the heat of him warming me through as we lay naked and tangled up in each other. He draws circles on my back with his hands and I release a small, content sigh, kissing him.

I'll never get bored of the taste of him. Of the way everything inside of me tingles when his tongue brushes against mine, the pads of his fingers leaving echoes everywhere they touch that I can still feel. I run my hands across his jaw, feeling the first graze of stubble threatening to emerge.

"Do you shave every morning?" I ask him in a whisper.

He nods against me. "I'll show you, one of these days."

I tell him, "There's so much I still need to learn about men."

"We're a simple breed," he replies.

"Maybe to you. I'm still learning."

"What would you like to know?" He asks me.

I press my hands to his chest, running them slowly down the length of his torso. He sucks in a breath when I reach his navel, and I glance up at him through my lashes.

"You like when I touch you there?"

"Like when you touch me anywhere," he breathes.

"But there specifically?" I ask, needing to know, needing to learn.

He nods. Emboldened, I continue lower, until I reach the first light dusting of hair at his base.

"How about here?"

He brings a hand to my neck. "Have I ever told you how much I love you?"

I frown. "You're trying to distract me."

"No," he laughs softly. "I'm not. There's not an inch of you I don't bloody love."

His words wash over me like a warm bath as I sink my hands further down. I brush against the top of his thighs, before gently cupping his round sac. He sucks in a breath.

"What about these?" I ask.

"If you want to love a man, do that to him," he tells me. "If you want to hurt a man, that's where you aim."

I grin. "You'd better be nice to me, then."

"So nice," he says, running his hands through my hair. "I'll be so fucking nice to you."

I roll him in my hands until he groans, and then I move one hand to the base of his shaft. I wrap my fingers around, holding it like he did last night.

"Show me," I whisper.

He doesn't once break eye contact as he wraps his hand over my own, guiding me how to pull, running the length of him and pushing back again. He guides me as his eyes roll back in his head, and then his hold on me loosens, and I take over.

I ask, "Do you want me to use my mouth? Like you did?"

Without waiting for an answer, I bend my knees and lean back, positioning myself to do it. I'm not sure how to take him and so I brush my tongue against him first and run it up the underside of his length. His answering groan is encouraging as I take him in my mouth and move, sucking, trying to mimic what he showed me with our hands.

He holds my head and guides me and my mouth is stretched for him. My eyes begin to water. I'm so entranced by the way he tenses, the way he's holding my head, that I keep going even when it's hard to breathe and I gag as he hits my throat.

He releases me at once and lifts my chin free from him. I gasp, my face drenched in saliva and precum.

"Why'd you want me to stop?" I ask.

"Fucking hell," he says, pulling me back up and kissing me. "I want you to still breathe, love. Don't worry," he says, eyes darkening as he pulls us both to our knees. "You'll get a taste later."

He holds me still on my knees as he positions himself behind me, gently guiding me down until I'm laying on my stomach, ass still stuck out in the air. He thumbs my soaking clit until I whimper, and then holds my hips in place.

"You'll like it like this," he tells me.

I feel him at my entrance, and then he pushes slowly into me, and I groan in ecstasy as I stretch around him. There's a sting where I'm slightly raw from before, but it's quickly overtaken by more pleasure as he moves his hips against mine. His fingers are so tight on my hips I'm sure they'll bruise, and somehow I can feel even more of him like this, bent over and existing in this moment just to fuck him.

"That's it, love," he says. "You're taking me so fucking well."

He picks up the pace and slams into me with each thrust, then reaches a hand between my legs and finds my clit. He plays with it as he continues to fuck and my legs start to shake, my toes curling as I whimper and cry out.

"You gonna come all over my cock, pretty girl?" He asks.

His name falls from my lips as I clench around him, so far gone it's ridiculous. He keeps hitting the deepest part of me, his fingers still toying with my clit, and I come harder than I'd ever thought possible.

He pushes into me with a groan and buries himself there, spilling inside of me, hitting each of my nerve endings as I pant and come down from the high. I shake as he pulls out and his hands are on me, his lips, touching me and kissing me and telling me he loves me.

We lie down and he shuts his eyes as I rest my head on his chest. Everything is comfortable. Everything is safe.

"Might have filled you up with a baby already," he says, holding my abdomen.

I can't hide the tremble in my shoulders as I inhale. He turns to me, eyes open with concern.

"What is it, sweetheart?" He asks.

I have to tell him. I cannot keep it a secret, not now we are husband and wife. And if I lose him, I will be broken beyond repair. But I cannot start the marriage with a lie. I should have told him as soon as he asked the question.

My heart pounds in my chest, my stomach churns.

"Hey," he says softly, rubbing my shoulders. "What is it?"

"John," I whisper. "...I can't have children."