Invisible String - Sebastian Sallow

Chapter Fifteen: In the Shadow of Power

I thought about the last time we'd walked in this type of stunned silence, how it was me guiding that time, holding his hand as his world caved in. The sunlight had felt cold upon exiting that catacomb, both Anne and Solomon gone. He'd been as silent as I was for so long, his voice small when he'd finally found it. 

"You really don't think me a monster?"

"Seb, he attacked us. We had no choice."

We exited the ornate chamber of the Keepers portraits, which I didn't glance back at. I didn't want to know if they were there, and I wasn't in much of a mood to hear anything they had to say if they were. The pounding in my body was lessening with every step we took and I never wanted to go down to the Keepers Repository again. 

Now, as we trudged our way up flights of stairs and Sebastian walked us right out of the front doors to the castle, I started to feel calmer. My breathing was less ragged, my mind clearer. The cold night air hit my face and I shuddered into my cloak. The magic inside of me stopped pounding the moment the cold air hit my skin and I let out a breath.

It was a welcome feeling.

Sebastian didn't look back at me as he continued to guide us down the sloping acres of land, sneaking past the caretakers hut and onto the pebbly shore.

We approached our secluded area not more than five minutes later, and Sebastian only released my hand to search his pockets for a piece of toast. I tried to focus on the important things here.

I was surely corrupted in some way by Isadora's ancient magic.

I'd not been aware enough in the Repository and nearly took more of that magic for myself.

Sebastian had pulled me away before I could be any more lost to the darkness.

I tried to focus on any of these thoughts. But all I could seem to focus on as I watched him place the toast on the small piece of stone was how I liked the way his hair curled and fell in front of his eyes as he leaned forward. 

He grabbed my hand again as we walked into our safe haven and moved me in front of the love seat tucked between the book cases on the left of the room, just behind the desk. The flowers he'd given me still sat atop the desk, not a wilt or a fallen petal in sight.

He pulled us to sit and I was slightly apprehensive but allowed him to continue to guide my movements. We sat together in silence for a while longer, his eyes on me, my eyes out at the slowly lightening sky. Still deep blue, but lightening ever so slightly on the distant horizon line. 

Finally, he broke his silence. 

"Do you really think that you've lost yourself to it?" 

"Well, I - I don't know. I can feel the piece I took inside me. It's... Cold." 

He nodded. "But you still aim to stay away from the Dark Arts." 

This wasn't a question. I waited for him to say something again. 

"Why?"

"Wh-What do you mean why? Look what it did to us, Sebastian!" I didn't understand his question. He'd been the first to say to Ominis that we didn't want to repeat the events of fifth year. We were staving off temptation by forming our study group. By agreeing to stay away from one another for so long. 

"Abbi, breathe. I'm not rushing to cast any Unforgivables myself right now. I just want to see what is happening in that head of yours." 

I chose to ignore the vagueness of his phrasing. Right now could mean any number of things. He wasn't saying we needed to use them again. I took a deep breath. "I want to and I don't want to. It's like I said about the Imperius Curse. It feels good, Sebastian. But if I do breathe in more, I don't know what will be left of me."