Lloyd McPherson's investment bank needed to think outside of the box, so he gathered the leadership and members of the board together and hired an expert to teach a workshop.
"Ladies and gentleman, may I introduce Mr. T. He will lead our training this morning."
A shapely secretary circulated around the table carrying two silver carafes. She paused beside the guest speaker, a man of very short stature, bright blue eyes and a tuft of wild hair upon his head.
"Would you care for coffee or tea, sir?" she asked Mr. T.
He looked up from his seat at her, and gave her a huge goofy grin that the secretary couldn't help but return. He gazed longly at the two shiny carafes she held and put a hand out towards them like they were pretty toys he wanted. He overshot and briefly brushed one of her breasts with his hand. Still smiling at the handsome guest, she pretended not to notice.
"You know what caffeine does to me," he said, charm radiating off every inch of his being. "How about a glass of milk."
"Of course sir," she said and stepped out of the room. A moment later she returned with the milk and a small chocolate chip cookie and placed it beside Mr. T. He shoved the cookie greedily into his mouth.
Lloyd continued his introduction.
"Mr. T. is an expert in acquisitions and hostile takeovers. He is the best of the best and we are honored for him to share his expertise with us this morning.
"Thank you Lloyd," said Mr. T setting down his glass of milk. A little of it had dribbled down the front of his clean, pressed shirt. "My techniques are not new, nor particularly complicated, but I do them with an intensity and zealousness unparalleled by my competitors, even the ones much larger than myself."
Everyone around the table leaned forward, hanging on every word.
Now Mr. T rocked back and forth in his chair and boldly set his feet up on the boardroom table, but nobody seemed to mind.
He continued.
"I think what makes me so powerful is the element of surprise. I charm my clients, draw them in, and make them love me. But unpredictably, I'll turn on them on a dime. This shocks them. They don't know how to react. It gives me the upper hand."
Several people took notes, not wanting to forget a single detail. They all knew Mr. T was on to something.
"And then, when you have your eye on the prize, you need to be relentless. You need to make it clear you aren't going to give up until you get what you want. Even if those you are up against don't give in, they will feel defeated at the end of the day. A they will know tomorrow you'll be back with fresh energy and the strength to break them."
Here Mr. T paused. The secretary circulated the room, refilling mugs of coffee, tea (and milk). She gave Mr. T another cookie and a playful wink.
"Good God, he is genius," the CFO whispered to Lloyd. "Where did you find this guy?"
Lloyd was about to answer when the secretary leaned over.
"Sir, Mr. T's mother is here. She said it is his nap time."
"Oh, ok," said Lloyd. He reached under the table and pulled out a stuffed bunny and a teddy bear. "Thank you for your time Mr. Toddler. Would you like the bunny or the bear as your payment for consulting with us today?"
"I'll take both," replied Mr. T.
Lloyd shook his head. "No, we agreed it would be only one stuffy per training session."
Mr. T's face turned beet red. He stiffened his limbs and arched his back.
"BUT I WANT TWO!" he screamed. Then he fell out of his chair and began flailing around on the floor.
The members of the board all shook with fear.
