The Story Of My (Ridiculous) Life

(7) gorgeous humans

"Remind me why we're hiding behind a black van disguised as a bush again?"

"Shut up, Girl," Harry hissed, twisting something on his binoculars. His eyes haven't seen the light of day since we arrived here and his face was covered in streaks of mud like all of ours. I think Niall had twigs in his hair too.

For some reason we were currently positioned outside of an all girls' school, one that seemed depressing as heck. It was depressing enough to be open during the holidays. The uniforms were this horrendous burgundy colour – It looked like someone had thrown up blood. A lot of them were wearing hijabs and most of them seemed to be South-Asian or something.

Felix was at home with baby Aurora and so were Liam and Louis. After the shocking presentation revealing very minimal info (how Trump and Cowell were behind Hairy Butts) we were instantly booted out and flew here in a private jet.

It was the best thing to ever happen to me. Excluding the moment where we lost altitude and thought we were gonna die for a split second.

It was Niall's fault. Obviously.

Niall elbowed Harry for me. "Harry! Don't be rude."

"Yeah, Harry," I grumbled back. I squinted as I looked in the distance. The girls seemed to be sitting with their friend groups chatting or gossiping about something.

Maybe their holiday break started next week. I thought for a few moments before whispering a joke into Niall's ear.

He leaped up. "THAT'S BLOODY BRILLIANT-" He yelled before Zayn grabbed his ear and yanked him to the ground.

"Shut up! You're going to blow our cover you ignorant banana-head!"

"Ooh, apply some ice to that burrnn-"

"Shut up!" Harry and Zayn whisper-yelled at the same time. I shrugged and resumed with what I was doing.

"Basically," Zayn whispered. "We're looking for two girls to audition, in a way. We need their help."

"And you came to this school because…?"

"Because these girls don't look innocent. They also have the highest drama-rate in the country according to national statistics and the recent drama census."

Niall cocked an eyebrow. "Damn." He looked around for a while, bored. He pointed at a random girl. "Oh, she's so pretty-!"

"Niall Horan, as of 2023, you are a 29 year old man. Stop being pedophilic."

"Sorry," he mumbled, looking down as he started fidgeting with his hands. I patted him on the back.

I started looking around myself for girls after Harry parted with his binoculars – a feat that never seemed possible.

He deserves applause. Give it to him right now.

My eyes zoned in on a girl talking with her friends, laughing loudly. She looked quite normal and innocent, but when I zoomed in further, she had that same devilish look in her eyes that all wattpadians and smut readers have. She radiated confidence and grace, and she looked like one of those happy bubbly people who make your day better without realising it.

Yup. I have a good feeling about her.

"Zayn!" I whisper-exclaimed. "I found someone!"

He rolled his eyes as he took the binoculars. "There's no way you have in the span of two minutes than I have all afternoon- oh." He slyly smiled as he looked through the binoculars. "Mission accomplished."

Harry snatched the binoculars off Zayn and peered through them himself. He nodded his head to agree with us before placing them in his lap.

"Now we just have to get her attention," Harry sighed, like that was impossible. I sort of agreed with him.