SHATTERED

fifty-nine

alex

when i woke up, i immediately felt a weight on top of me. i didn't open my eyes just yet; i was too exhausted too. i don't know long i slept for, but it definitely wasn't long enough considering the fact that i had been up for roughly thirty-five hours.

when i finally did open my eyes, they widened a bit. saylor was sound asleep and curled into my side. her face was practically buried into my neck. her leg was draped across my waist, and her arm was slung over me. my own arm was somewhat around her, while my other one was still by my head, with my hand still in a fist.

honestly, the fact that we were cuddling didn't even scare or surprise me... the fact that i didn't immediately want to leave is what surprised me.

i can't even lie... it felt really nice having saylor cuddled into me like this. it was just so... comfortable.

but again... the fact that i didn't immediately want to run, shocked me.

the last time i woke up to saylor cuddling me was the morning after we got high together in the hotel room. i had just barely noticed that we were cuddling before i completely panicked and moved away from her... then ignored her until the end of soundcheck.

but right now, i was as calm as i could be.

i stared down at saylor for a few moments as i thought back to last night. after she managed to, somehow, bring me up here and help me into the bed, i had told her to stay with me. even though i was half asleep when it happened, i vividly remember the shocked look on her face when i said it.

i don't know what made me tell her to stay... but i can't say that i regret it.

i shifted a bit to get more comfortable. in the process, i had moved only a tad bit away from saylor. even so, she let out a sleepy whine as her arm, the one that was draped over me, lazily pulled me closer. after she had pulled me closer, she relaxed again, and she was back to sleeping peacefully.

an involuntary smile came to my lips.

fuck. i can't even begin to explain how that just made me feel.

i could feel my face burn with a blush the more i thought about it. saylor snuggled closer to me, which only made my face flush even more. i was thankful that she was asleep and couldn't see my face right now.

i did not realize just how much i like her... i feel the same way i did when fifteen and sixteen.

meaning, it feels like the same kind of just... innocent crush. this all feels like a whole new feeling again.

that being said, i hope this... whatever this is... doesn't end up the same way it did with her.

i glanced at the clock on the nightstand. it wasn't even seven in the morning yet. i yawned as i glanced at saylor again. i then laid my head against her's, and within no time at all it seemed, i fell back asleep.

•

when i woke up again, i was a bit disappointed to see that saylor was no longer cuddled up with me, nor was she even in the bed still. i yawned as i sat up and rubbed my eyes.

i glanced around the room. i spotted saylor in the chair that was in here; she was scrolling through her phone.

"'morning," i greeted with a sleepy rasp in my voice.

saylor perked up, and she looked over at me. for reasons that i don't think i'll ever know, her cheeks flushed lightly. "i didn't realize you were up; good morning," she murmured.