A 'SUB' REQUEST (Cate Blanchett x OC)

Chapter 5: A trick question

I couldn't believe what I just heard. Could it be the reason that Andrew called the other day when I was at Cate's house? Perhaps Hylda knew they were bound to get back together all along and wanted to spare me the mortification. But why now, 6 months after the divorce? 

I stepped out of the pool and put on my bathrobe, the insouciance of the afternoon evaporating. "What's wrong?" Cate asked, not budging. 

"Nothing", I said with my back to her, pretending that the mentioning of her ex-husband's name didn't just devastate me a little after our beautiful encounter. Like a smear on an otherwise pristine day. But it was also ludicrous that the thought of me actually competing against her husband ever popped into my head. They were, maybe are, in love. They had 4 children together. He wasn't just a roadside fling. 

I mean...what even was I to Cate?  She obviously brought it up because she thought her past relationships had no impact on me. Therefore she must've not taken me seriously. Or...was it a test? 

"You seem a bit shaken," she said. 

"No, I'm not." I turned back in a very unnatural twirl, mustering the best fake smile I could manage. 

She tilted her head a little again, in her usual fashion when she perceived a discrepancy between what someone said and how they behaved, and her eyes narrowed to a flirtatious squint. "So you're not curious at all whether...I want to get back with him?" 

"I mean, I respect whatever choice you make in your personal life, I - if you still love him, I think you oughta follow your heart and..." my voice grew soft, but the hurt in it was so loud. 

"You're one to preach about following your heart, you with the heart of stone," Cate got out of the tub - it was the first time I ever saw her entire body in the nude, glistening with spring water and both of our sweat. She was of model proportions, with a tad extra voluptuousness around the thighs. "My heart right now is telling me to ask you what you really think. Tell me. And none of that diplomatic thing you have going on while negotiating film deals." 

My heart began racing, but my head beat it to the punch. "I think it's ultimately up to you, and you don't owe anyone, including myself, an explanation." I said, and we left it at that. 

For the next two days, my relationship with Cate fell back to this limbo state of semi-professionalism. We read and compared notes during the day in preparation for her shoot, she became a bit more inquisitive of my opinion on budget estimations and character development, as if to shed a tiny beam of light on the space between us that was ominously darkened by her past. After we got to London, I didn't see her as much during the day as she was mostly on set, and I went to networking events all around town with my Fox colleagues. But then, I stopped seeing her at night as well. I assumed that she was with Andrew and the kids, and I learned to fall asleep by myself. It was a strange and surreal dynamic - we were both a bit disoriented but somehow our mutual professional respect overshadowed everything and kept our relationship out of drama's way. 

On the last day before we flew back to LA, she came back to the hotel early, around 8pm. From the gravitas in her movements I knew that she had something substantial to share. 

"Sweetheart, can you come sit down with me for a moment. I want to talk to you." 

She was wearing a beige-colored suit with imposing shoulder pads that accentuated her strong form. Her hair was tied up in a tight bun, bringing her sharp jawline into prominence.

"I found it," she said, "my music project."

"What?"

"It's not one of your scripts, darling. It's called Tár. I'll get to conduct and speak German. Whole thing takes place in Berlin. I officially said yes to it this afternoon, and couldn't tell you about it before." Her face radiated hope. 

For a moment, I forgot all that happened between us and felt genuinely happy for her. "That's fantastic, Cate!" I chirped, locking her in a tight embrace. 

"I'm really not supposed to show anyone, but you must read it. I just got off the phone with Todd Field, the director. He's got quite a vision for this. A whole spin on the me too movement that's utterly radical. We spent the past 3 nights discussing my character." She handed me a purple binder labeled "CONFIDENTIAL". 

So that's where she'd been all these evenings. 

As I engrossed myself in the pages, she spoke up again, "There's a section in it where I have to play the piano. A lecture scene - where Lydia Tár, my character, teaches a class at Juilliard and has to demonstrate a piece of music. I was wondering if you can help me prepare for it? I'd be happy to book you, officially, for your time." 

"I do have a degree from Juilliard for composing," I commented, "so I suppose there's a lot I can help out with, actually." 

"Wonderful." 

"Are you sure that this is okay with...Andrew?" 

She stared at me like an enigma. "I'm not sure. I only met up with him for 30 minutes yesterday to tell him that I couldn't get back together with him, so I suppose I'll have to set up another session with him just to discuss this." 

I could barely contain my joy to myself that it showed up on my face, and she noticed. "Surprised?" 

"No, I'm just thrilled you got this new part, that's all." I said. 

"Do you know why this part is special for me?" 

"Because it's in German?"

"No, because the lead character has sexual relations with women." 

I raised my eyebrows, "It's not your first time playing a gay character though. Remember Carol?"

"Yes..of course," she said, drifting off into a trance, "but that was different." 

"Different how?"

 "I was living someone else's story vicariously, because I hadn't yet slept with a woman then." 

"Well, it certainly doesn't hurt for you to have slept with women for Tár..." 

"Not women. Woman." 

"Sorry?" 

Cate ran her fingers through my hair, "Darling, you were my first. And my only." 

I was speechless. Never in a million eons would I have been able to tell - she was an absolute natural at it. I was her first. But would I be the last? 

"Well, let's start rehearsing soon. When's our flight back tomorrow?" 

Before I could pull up the reservation on my phone, Cate's phone rang. It was from Hylda. 

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