Andrew, Don't Screw! Editing

Chapter 13: Hazel's Midnight Visitor

Grace's POV

"You what?" Chris stares Hazel whitens. I knew this. I so freaking knew people won't accept this.

"Grace, what are you saying? Did you- do you love Chris?" Hazel asks as a fresh stream of tears roll down my cheeks.

"I do. And so much so that it breaks my heart when I see her with Andrew. You wanted to know why I left again and again-well so this is why."

"What are you saying?"

"I am not you, Christina. I am a coward. I couldn't accept who I am myself, let alone let the world know about it. Every time Andrew asked me out, I just didn't know what to tell him. I didn't understand what I was feeling. Instead of being honest, I chickened out and flee the town. Everything was so overwhelming. I didn't know who to go to or what to say."

"And you know what- that wasn't even the worst part. Saying no to Andrew was hard, accepting this new life was difficult but the most painful thing was to look at you. Look at the way you looked at him. I wanted you and I wanted you to want me. To look at me that way. You are so brave and so fierce- you could just say what you were feeling, ask what you wanted. I couldn't. I could tell no one about it. I knew you didn't feel the same way. So whenever everything got too much to bear, I left. My parents made me join a support group. It helped me cope and whenever I felt better, I came back and decided that I was stronger and ready now. But I never could."

"Fuck." Chris envelopes me in a hug. And I think in all these years this is the first physical contact we have ever shared. "I am sorry. I never knew you were going through all this shit. I shouldn't have misjudged you or said any of those mean things, Grace."

"It's okay. It really is." I wipe the rest of the tears, "I have brought this onto myself. And it was okay till I was just hurting myself, but I realized I was causing pain to you guys as well. So this year I was going to tell you everything for sure. When I came here though you and Andrew were already dating. It took me a long time to process, but I thought this would be for the best. I was happy for you guys or at least I tried to be and I didn't want to complicate everything because of my confession. I tried to stay out of it but I care so freaking lot about you-I couldn't see Andrew breaking your heart. You deserve so much better! Even if it's not me I didn't want you to settle for anyone who doesn't sees your worth. That's the only reason I asked Andrew to break up with you on the beach."

"Give me a minute," says Chris, "All this is surprising. It's making me-making-"

"Uncomfortable?" I asked, "I didn't mean to. I know you are straight and never felt that way for me. I have accepted your rejection."

"No, it's not that. I am just a little surprised. Justin coming out didn't faze me at all but somehow this is different."

"Even though Andrew never explicitly said it, somewhere you knew subconsciously that he likes Grace, so naturally you were not a big fan of hers," Hazel explains, starling both of us with her insightful observation. "Her confessing clears up the misunderstanding that she was not taking him away from you. So it's a little lot for you to digest."

"I hope this doesn't changes things between us." I request Hazel.

"But it does." she surprises again.

"Huh?" I mumble too afraid to hear what comes next.

"I understand why you could not tell Chris or Andrew for that matter. But I thought we were best friends- or at least I thought we were. You didn't feel safe sharing such an important detail of your life. It's not fair that we laughed together but you cried alone."

A fresh set of tears stream down my face. "I am sorry Hazel. Christina is your sister-I was afraid of how things would pan out if I did."

"How shallow do you think I am? Did you really think anything would change because of this?"