TORTURED SOUL | abby littman

𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗿𝘁𝘆 𝗲𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁.

Feeling alone was one of the worst feelings in the world and Rowan was starting to feel alone.

She knew it wasn't true. Not really. She had people now. There was Abby though she was not replying to a single message or answering a call right now. There was Stevie though they were annoyed at Rowan currently. There was Marcus whose phone was likely turned off because none of the messages she sent had gone through. So she wasn't technically alone but that didn't stop her mind from making her feel like she was. It didn't help that she was wallowing in her pain, thoughts and self with no contact from anyone.

Rowan may not be alone but she had never felt more lonely in her life.

    
    
    
    
    

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Sometimes, Rowan hated still being a kid. These were one of those times. Still being a teen, adults could make decisions for her and the decision she was forced into today, none other than Christmas day itself?

Spending it with Grace and her family in Boston.

Let's rewind a second. Two hours earlier, Bob had knocked on Rowan's door saying he had a surprise for her. He sounded so excited so Rowan doubted he knew what Grace had done. He said he was going to take her somewhere, that it wouldn't take long but she can't stay cooped up forever. Rowan had expected a quick trip into the town, not being driven to Boston and being left outside the house that caused her pain she couldn't put into words. Rowan wasn't mad at Bob, however. He didn't know any better. No, this was on Grace.

"I want to make things right with Cameron," Grace said as Rowan followed her into the house, being led to the same room they had their talk in after being reunited after six years. There was a Christmas tree up this time, high as the ceiling and fully decorated. The room smelt of cookies and there was a cot in the corner that was not there last time, empty still. "But I know I have to make it right with you first so I'm going to try now. If you'll let me."

"So you thought kidnapping me was the way to go?" Grace shrugged, looking back at Rowan with a sheepish smile, one that reminded her so much of Cameron that she had to look away. Of course they had the same smile. Of course they did. Rowan just had to be reminded of him even when in another town.

Rowan had been trying so hard to not think of Cameron, today more so than the others. She wished he was having a fun time, sure, but she did not want to imagine it. Just knowing he was without her was painful enough. She didn't need to picture it too.

Rowan turned back to the older woman when hearing her greet Talia, watching as Talia kissed Grace's cheek while holding their baby, Grace's eyes closing and smiling so bright that smile lines were prominent. Rowan had never seen her so happy before in her life. "Hey, Rowan," Talia said once Grace had taken the baby from her, walking closer to Rowan who was frozen in place.

"Hey, Talia." Rowan tried to keep her eyes on Talia but they kept drifting to Grace who was talking to her babbling daughter, adorned in a baby blue dress, lifting her daughter in the air as she walked around the room and the daughter smiling and laughing, little legs kicking out.

Rowan knew she didn't have a good childhood. That was pretty apparent. But she never realised just how much she missed out on, not until she was put in Bob's care. But, even then, those were her days as a kid and young teen. She's never thought further back. But now she's staring right at it; the unconditional love of a mother. Just by watching Grace and her daughter now, Rowan knew she was going to grow up loved. She would never have to doubt that.