I pull the blanket tighter around me and use it to mask my shaking. It works fairly well since my mother seems none the wiser. Karasuma notices, because of fucking course he does, but doesn't say anything about. I give him a silent thank you in my mind but he seems to understand, which again, is incredibly impressive.
He takes a seat and a fate worse than hell is unleashed upon me.
"Ok, let's start small. Nagisa, can you tell me how you came to be at the scene of the crime"
"Oh, yeah. I was running a bit late to school so I took a short cut through a sketchy alleyway... not the smartest move in my part"
"Nagisa! Baby! We've talked about this! What were you thinking?! You could have been seriously hurt!"
She gives her best crocodile tears and I almost fall for it... almost.
"Actually your mother brings up a fair point there, what we're you thinking. You're a smart kid, what were you doing in that part of town?"
And that one gets me, because it sounds genuine, and a part of me deep down hopes it really is. A part of me is naive enough to hope that he really does care about me, some stupid part of me that keeps coming back no matter how many times I get hurt wants to believe that I'm worth caring for. Then reality sinks back in with my mother's glare and I'm reminded of the part I have to play.
"Yeah, I know. I wasn't thinking... I was panicking because I was going to be late to school and lost track of where I was until it was too late."
My mother gives a disappointed sigh. She doesn't have to act, she really is disappointed, just not for the reason she's portraying. She's disappointed that I didn't end up dead. She's disappointed that her useless son didn't give her the chance to start over with a new kid who's so much better than I could ever be.
"Ok, that's understandable. Moving on, how did your attacker approach you?"
"I was walking down the street and a bunch of older men were staring at me, a few yelled some vulgar things at me, catcalling must have been pretty standard on that side of town. One of the men came a little too close for comfort, so I backed into an alley way hoping to escape. I I didn't realize at the time it was a dead end. He cornered me. Then he... he.."
"It's ok, take your time. I know this is hard, he'll emotionally it's got to be hell, but I promise that once I have your statement that man will never lay a finger on you ever again."
I swallow my fear and continue
"He cornered me against the wall, leaning in close. Too close. As he leaned in closer, I flinched, which made him angry. That's when he slammed me into the wall.
I must have hit my head pretty hard because I lost my ability to stand... but that didn't stop him. He just pulled me up by my wrists, slamming me back against the wall and pinning me there with arms above my head, dangling a few feet off the ground. That's when he started to... to.."
"Hey, kid, it's ok, just take a deep breath. You're doing great so far and we're almost done ok? Just keep breathing. It's all gonna be alright".
After a moment or two I regain my composure and continue. My mom looks thoroughly annoyed and absolutely disgusted at the same time. She keeps her mask up but I can tell that on the inside she's burning with rage that will only be unleashed on me later behind closed doors.
"He started to.. to touch me, sliding his lips across my skin all over my body. His tongue felt like sandpaper against my neck. Every time I'd try to fight back he'd just push back twice as hard, he'd use one hand to hold me up and the other to explore... to touch me in places I didn't want him to. He started inching his way up my thigh, massaging my upper thigh and grinding against me, inching ever closer to... to my crotch.. then there was shouting and gunshots and he dropped me. I must have hit my head again because I blacked out and when I woke up you were there and you helped me."
I took a deep breath and let out a sigh of relief. It was finally over.
"And that's all I needed from you. I'm proud of you kid. What you just did is no easy feat and you handled it like a champ."
He then turned his attention toward my mother,
"Ma'am is it ok if I have one last private word with your child?"
"Fine, just don't take too long, the poor girl has clearly suffered enough. I'll be waiting right outside the door, sweetie."
She leaves the room and I can feel the tension melt away once more. Karasuma, however, is far from relieved.
"I know I'm not exactly a mental health professional, but I've seen a lot of cases like yours so if you ever need to talk about any of it just give me a call ok? Really kid, I mean that. If you need me, call. I don't know exactly what's going on at home or school, but it's very clear something more is going on here. If you don't want to tell me I won't pry, but just know you can always come to me for help."
"Why are you doing this? Why are you being so nice to me?"
"Because you deserve it. You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect and I could tell the moment I met you that you needed a bit of a reminder of that. You're not a burden, you are worthy of compassion. No matter what your mind may be telling you, what happened wasn't your fault. You did nothing to deserve this."
"I still don't get it, but thanks. I might just take you up on your offer"
"Good, now stay out of trouble. It's been a pleasure meeting with you, but I'd hate to see you end up here again."
We share a lighthearted laugh and I give him one last hug as I walk out of his office and towards my inevitable doom.
I exit the station with my mom and she drags me to the car, throwing me in the backseat and slamming the door behind me.
At least I'll die knowing someone cared, right?
Wip- no strings ch.4?
Start from the beginning
