𝐇𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬: 𝐀𝐬𝐩𝐲𝐧 𝐂𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐧 ~ 𝐎𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐁𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬

𝐈 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝐁 𝐖𝐚𝐬 𝐇𝐢𝐠𝐡

"Nothing's up, Pope," I told him.

He shook his head. "I know you, Aspyn. Something's going on,"

"No, there's not," I replied.

"AJ, I'm just trying to help you," He said softly, reaching for my hand.

"Well, I don't need your help!" I snapped, pulling away. "You don't need to be up my ass! I can handle my own problems!"

He looked taken aback by my response, his expression faltering for just a moment. "Yeah, well, I'm sorry that I care,"

"I'm sorry that you don't know every aspect of my life!" I retorted.

The tone of my voice was completely different from his. Despite his frustration, I could tell he was trying his best to remain calm. Me on the other hand? The way I spoke was very indicative of my annoyance.

"All I did was ask what was wrong!" He argued, raising his voice for the first time during the conversation.

"Right, and I told you that nothing was wrong. That should've been the end of the conversation!"

"I didn't end the conversation because I knew you weren't telling the truth!" He replied. "You're getting upset because I'm concerned about you!"

He sighed, reaching for my hands. "Aspyn, babe, I just wanna know what's going on,"

I pulled away once again, this time walking away from him. "Nothing's going on,"

"So, what? That's it?" He questioned, stopping me in my tracks. "You're just gonna lie to me like that?"

"I'm not lying," I simply said, my tone even.

He clenched his jaw, seeming hurt and frustrated all at once. "Okay," Was all he said.

"Pope-"

"You could've just said that you didn't want to talk about it. I would've respected that," He cut me off. "Instead, you lied to me. I know damn well you did,"

Tears threatened to spill out of my eyes. "I'm sorry. I just...I don't wanna talk about it,"

He shook his head. "It's too late for that,"

My heart ached as he walked away from me, going down to the lower level of the boat. I knew I'd fucked up.

Normally, I would have simply told him that I didn't want to talk. He would have understood. However, I was so afraid of him discovering I was craving cocaine that I lied to him. Then, I continued to lie even though he knew something was off.

"God, I'm such a fucking IDIOT!" I screamed. Tears flowed down my cheeks, fueled by my anger at myself. "FUCK!"

With my sobs growing louder, I placed a hand over my mouth, trying to silence them. It wasn't fair. I was clean for months, with no withdrawal symptoms or anything, and then suddenly some cravings came and fucked up everything. Once again, my past was biting me in the ass.

-

It was dark now. Pope and I hadn't said a word to each other since the fight. The others tried to ask us what was wrong but we didn't say much.

I felt nothing but anger at myself for hurting Pope. The one person I loved more than anything.

Kiara, Sarah, Cleo, and I were seated together, Pope and I making occasional eye contact that one of us would immediately break.

We had never fought before. Nothing like this. While I knew I shouldn't have lied, I was so anxious about him finding out.

Eventually, we docked somewhere. I was too focused on the argument to figure out where.