Nothing Good Gets Away

Chapter 59

HARRY STYLES

I wake up to Rowan's back in the jumper I wore to her parents' house for Christmas Eve dinner last night. It's bunched up to her waist, and the duvet is pushed down just enough to reveal her bare legs in just her underwear. I move in closer, but I'm hesitant to wake her. Even though she seemed happy and satisfied last night, I have no idea how she might be feeling this morning. She could be regretting it completely, and I think that would kill me when I know that last night had to be the best of my life.

I'd like to think that all the sex I've had meant at least a little something special to me, but after Rowan, I can safely say that she might as well have been my first too. I've never felt the way I did last night with anyone, and all I can hope is that she feels the same way now.

So, treading lightly, I lift the duvet to slide in closer to her until my chest is against her back. I move her hair aside to bury my face in her neck until she breathes in and shifts back against me. When she raises her hand to scratch her fingers through my hair, I look up to see her smiling with her eyes closed still. A smile is good. A smile usually doesn't mean regret.

"Morning," I start first, stuffing my hand up under her jumper to rest on her sternum.

She takes in another breath, and I can feel the chills rising on her skin as she turns in my arms and opens her eyes. Her smile immediately returns, but she won't look me in the eyes just yet.

"Good morning," she whispers back. "Did you sleep okay?"

The question could have made me laugh. I can honestly say that I have never, in my life, slept so well before. "I slept great."

"Me too," her smile starts to grow as she looks up at me.

Just like mine are, her eyes just shift back and forth, and up and down my face as if she's seeing me for the first time. I wish we would have been able to do more talking about the whole thing last night, but after I double-checked that she was physically feeling okay when we were finished, we both fell asleep pretty quickly.

"How are you feeling?" I ask.

Her tired smile reappears. "I'm feeling like I'm glad that I waited, and I'm glad that it was you that I waited for."

I breathe out a sigh of genuine relief as I nod against my pillow, tucking her hair back behind her ear. "I was hoping you'd say that."

"Mhm," she moves closer to me and splays her hand out on the side of my neck, sliding it around to hold the back of it. "Was I okay? I mean, I know I didn't really do anything but just lay there, but I'll get better at it, I think."

I suddenly feel more awake as my face screws up in confusion. "You were perfect, what are you talking about?"

"Well, Nicky was telling me about all the different positions, and I've seen–"

"Rowan," I laugh, "you don't need to be worried about all the different positions. If every single time could be just like last night, I'd be more than happy with that."

Her cheeks turn pink as she avoids my gaze again, and I wouldn't put it past her to be feeling shy about the whole thing. "Yeah, I thought it was great."

I nod in agreement. "Are you sore or anything?"

"A little, but it feels good. It's like...a reminder of what we did. I like it."

"Good," I hold her hip in place as she slowly hikes it up over mine, and I start to gently squeeze her there until she arches her back and brings the duvet further up to cover our shoulders.