Nothing Good Gets Away

Chapter 41

ROWAN BASS

My apartment is a bit of a madhouse as I pace around trying to quickly clean up the kitchen and wrap my cherry and pumpkin pies in plastic. Christmas music is playing from the TV, Scout is barking at his squeaker toy for no viable reason, and Harry and Carson are sitting on my couch together.

"Sure you don't need any help?" Carson asks again.

"Nope, I'm just gonna let these dishes soak while we're gone, but do one of you guys want to take Scout to the bathroom before we leave?"

"I'll do it," Harry quickly volunteers, and I'm sure Carson is happy to let him.

"Thank you," I mindlessly touch his shoulder in passing to get to my bedroom, where my Thanksgiving outfit is laid out on the bed.

Once the front door shuts, I hear footsteps coming down the hall to my open bedroom. Although I do usually prefer to change in private, I don't ask Carson to leave.

"I can take that," he offers, holding his hand out for my flour-spotted apron.

"Oh, thanks," I give it to him and step out of my house shoes to take my joggers off first.

"Do you think this is going to be awkward for Harry?" He suddenly asks. "Having Thanksgiving dinner with both our families, I mean."

"Um," I frown in thought as I peel my shirt off to throw on my slightly oversized cream sweater in its place. "I don't think so. He knows my family so it's not like he's going to be a complete stranger there."

"Yeah, I know he knows your family," he mutters that with a quiet laugh, almost like he's bitter. "I remember your dad asking about him when I was there for the first time."

I give him a look as I jump into my straight-cut jeans. "That didn't mean anything. He was just trying to make conversation and keep from interrogating you the entire time."

"Yeah," he agrees and seems to drop it as I button myself into my pants and yank my hair out of the collar of my sweater. I've been meaning to schedule an appointment with Nicky to get it cut, I just haven't had the time.

But as far as this dinner goes, maybe I am a bit nervous. If it was just going to be my family, Carson, and Harry I think it would be okay, but I don't know if his family is going to wonder why I brought another guy with me. And then there's the situation with Celine and Matthew, which only myself and Harry know about still. She confirmed to me that they were coming together, and begged me to just act normal. I haven't seen him since the whole thing went down, so I'm not sure how it's going to go.

We hear Harry come back in just as I finished rolling my perfume over my pulse points, and I reach up to kiss Carson in private, assuring him that today will be fine. Mostly, I'm assuring myself.

"Okay, is everyone ready?" I ask, and both men nod in agreement. Harry holds Scout's leash while Carson takes one of the pies for me, and we all step out into the hallway so I can lock up.

The silence riding down to the parking garage is killing me, and the frustrating thing is that I know it's only because Carson is with us. Harry and I are never quiet with each other, and if we are, it doesn't give me this feeling of anxiety–like I need to hurry up and figure out what to say.

For some reason, I also feel bad when Harry climbs into the backseat without being asked or told, as if he understands that my boyfriend should obviously go in the front with me. To make him feel included, I extend my charging cord back for him to plug his phone in and choose the music for us.

Carson, I've learned, doesn't really care for music all that much. Obviously, he likes it, but he doesn't have favorite bands or songs. He listens to the radio, or classical music because it helps him relax. I like that too, but I don't know. I wish he would have more strong opinions about some things, or more passions than just saving and bettering the lives of children. How selfish of him, right?