Nothing Good Gets Away

Chapter 57

HARRY STYLES

I've never really had an issue buying Christmas or birthday presents for Rowan before. I'd like to think I know her well enough to pick out things that she'll like, but now, for some reason, I feel this different kind of pressure to get her something nicer; more luxury, I guess.

That issue then sent me into somewhat of an internal spiral, wondering how I'm supposed to compete with the gifts her parents buy her, or the expensive gifts I know Carson gave her for such holidays–like the $3,000 Celine bag she had her eye on last Christmas. I'd love to get her something like that, but I also don't know how smart it would be to buy a gift that costs more than my monthly rent.

"I don't fucking know," I mumble to Zayn as we walk, defeatedly, out of the Gucci store on Rodeo Drive. "Maybe I'll just write her a really nice card. Or take out a loan to buy her a bag."

Expectedly, Zayn laughs at me and shuffles his own bags for Nicky to hold in one hand. He got her lingerie, toys for her cat, and a vintage snake ring with emerald eyes; all things she's going to love.

"I don't think she's expecting anything crazy from you," he says, and that only makes me feel worse.

"Exactly," I gesture vaguely to the crowded sidewalk in front of us. "I never felt pressure before because we were just friends, and friends don't give friends dramatic romantic gifts. But now we're seeing each other, and I'll bet she's wishing Carson was the one giving her gifts this Christmas."

"Harry," he deadpans. "Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure if she wanted Carson to give her Christmas gifts, she would have said 'I do' when she had the chance. Even if all you really did was write her a nice letter, I'm sure she'll appreciate it–you know she's not materialistic like that."

"I know," we wander into a higher-end home store, one that I've come into with her many times when she needed something for her kitchen. "I was thinking of drawing her a picture of Scout from when he was five months old. She sent me a photo of him when she told me she was going to make him a puppy cake for the occasion, so I could draw it and frame it for her."

"See? That's perfect," he points at me with a bundle of wooden spoons, almost knocking over a cookie jar in the process.

I make that my plan for her special gift, and end up buying her a replacement set of what I remember are her favorite dish towels–the ones that Scout ate when he was still in training. Only two out of the five towels survived, so I'm sure she would be happy to have those back.

Apart from that, I bought her more of the perfume oil she wears since she's running out, and a simple gold chain necklace that I could easily see her wearing every day. None of it is a Celine purse, but I think she'll be happy with the haul.

"So how's it going with her anyway?" Zayn asks as we take our gifts back to my car. "Is it everything your little heart has been desiring?"

"It's been amazing, yeah," I try not to smile so I don't get even more shit for it. "It doesn't feel weird or awkward, either. It's like we didn't skip a single beat going from best friends to what we are now."

"Which is what? Is she your girlfriend?"

"Not officially, but I don't want to rush her, y'know? I mean, it was practically just yesterday she was standing in front of Carson, ready to marry him, so I think she feels a bit strange jumping right into a new relationship."

"But you basically are in a relationship," he surmises, making me think about it for a second.

"Well, we sleep in the same bed and I've been staying with her since the wedding because I'm off of work, but after the holidays I'm going to end up back in my apartment, and by then I might ask her if she's ready to make this official."