Entity

12

2 months passed by, palagi kaming magkasama ni Clea. There was some point that i would wish to avoid her because i don't want to be with her and leave her. But can i be selfish for once? I can't avoid someone i love the most. I can't ignore my woman.

We are here in the rooftop, watching the sun to set together.

"Ang ganda talaga ng sunset!" Clea said while laughing beautifully.

"Yeah, It's so beautiful that it makes me sad." I said while holding my tears.

I only have 1 month left, thinking about it wants me return to the past and just avoid her and hide my feelings for her. I really don't want to hurt this girl.

If only i don't have a cancer...

"Ryu, may tanong ako!" Clea said while sitting down in the bench.

"hmm?" I sat beside her.

"Can you promise me that you will not hide anything from me?" Clea said.

I gulped about what she said, I can't promise you love.. I want to keep this secret from you because i don't want to hurt you too. I can handle this pain by myself. I don't want to see you suffering.

"Can we share the pain? Promise me that you will tell anything that causes you a pain. It's unfair if we laughed together and you are crying alone." She said.

I managed to hold my tears down.

This girl is really precious. It makes me wanna begged God to let me live a happy life with you.

29 days passed by...

"Dad?" I said when i saw him.

"Anak, I'm sorry for everything" My dad said while holding a bottle of alcohol.

"I promise, i swear i really loved your mom and i regretted everything i have done to you both. Anak, I'm so sorry i'm so selfish, a monster and a good for nothing. I can't even call myself a dad anymore..." My dad said and his voice cracked.

My tears started falling, I know that if my mom is still here, He will forgive him and forget everything he did to her. Because my mom really loves him. I thought manhid na ako but i can't watched him crying and suffering after all he is still my dad.

"Matagal na kitang pinatawad, pa" I said

Matagal na kitang pinatawad pa, matagal na kitang gustong yakapin, Matagal tagal na rin na gusto kong umiyak sa harap mo. Matagal na ring gusto kita tawaging "Dad". Miss na miss na kita pa, I want to feel the dad's love before i die.

"Patawarin mo si papa, nak ha.." My dad said whil hugging me.

Mas umiyak ako lalo nang niyakap niya ako, I missed this moment. Even for the last time, let me be your son again.

...

"Hiniwalayan mo si tita yves?" I asked

The room is now calmer, I'm with my dad tonight.

"Oo nak, na realized ko kasi na hindi ko siya mahal at never ko talaga siyang minahal. I realized that, it's still your mom. It's still her. I tried to find, i tried to flirt with a lot of girls so that i can move on from your mom.. but wala e, siya pa rin.." He said with a pain in his voice.

"Nasaktan ako nung iniwan niya tayo, but it's my fault why she died..." He said.

I know that my dad is a jerk sometimes, People can be jerk sometimes but not in love. Even if you want to avoid it, you can't. Because that's the power of love..

Nakikita kong nasasaktan si Papa ngayon, nakita ko kung gaano siya nasaktan dahil wala na si mama. Ayokong maging ganito si Clea. I really want to tell her that i'm leaving this world and i can't no longer be with her.

But, how can i tell her? when i know that she will cry and cry and will become a reason why i can't leave....

She suffered enough, i will just disappear without a goodbye and will use some reason to believe that lumipat lang ako ng hospital...

....

One day left.