prologue

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   February 19, 2008

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February 19, 2008

The first thing I feel when I wake up is the pulsing of my head,

The second thing I feel is the sunlight glaring down at me mocking me.

The third thing I feel instant regret

Fuck please tell me I am dreaming

I looked around the basement with a blurry gaze, I tried to stand up when I felt the pain of the beating from last night all over my body, and as the reckless person I am, I decided to sleep on the floor, another reason for pain.

Nassau crawls up in my throat as I lean my head against my knee, taking slow breaths through my nose, trying not to vomit all over my clothes, even though it wouldn't matter if it got dirty, with all the blood staining my clothes.

I combed through the memories from last night, of how I got home from my friend's house from tutoring for the science test we have on Monday. I was already dreading the thought of going home.

I thought if maybe I was quiet enough I would get a free-day beating, but luck was not on my side. When I got home, the lights were on and the TV, as I opened the door, I saw a pair of brown mule shoes standing in front of the door.

"fuck"

my voice is so low, I don't even know if I really said anything. I look up slowly, meeting the black dark eyes of my father, who by the way had the darkest hostile look he ever gave me when he was about to beat the hell out of my ass. That's when I knew that there was no out.

I try to stand as confidently as possible not to give him the satisfaction of seeing me be afraid of him

"you fucking bitch, look at the time you arrived I bet you were fucking around like a whore you are."  His face is so close to mine I can smell the horrible smell of his breath, a mix of vodka, and something else I can't identify. I look around trying to see if mom is around, but when my eyes found the couch, the Nassau from the view is just pure disgusting.

My mom is sprayed on the couch naked with her strawberry blond hair in knots framing her sweaty face as if she just had run for hours.

There are three men around who are also naked,
The one on the left is the tallest, with jet black hair and some gray hair on his beard, dark green eyes filled with lust, and mischief, he looked around his mid-fourties' , he body was filled with black hair, a beer belly so big that from where I'm standing you can't see his legs, his face definitely made up for how ugly his body is.

The one in the middle was the same but opposite, he got a ugly face that a pretty body made up for, golden blonde hair lastly sitting on top of his head, it looks messy probably from running his fingers through his hair every five minutes, light ocean blue eyes, his nose looks like it recently got punched, probably got punched for sleeping with a married woman, he does look like a the type to be a man whore, small lips and disgusting yellow teeth, he has a decent body with no beer belly unlike his other friends, dark under eyes that make you question if he is a vampire. Wrinkles around his around his face, and his whole body, yelled crooked teeth, with the three front ones missing.

The one on the right is probably the worst, with a bald head, with bruises around his whole face, his nose is bigger than his lips, wicked brown eyes, that are looking at my mom like he wants to fuck her into her next life, if he could do me that favor I would be so thankful not to see that piece of shit of a mother ever again.

talking to each other on the couch next to her, probably waiting for her to wake up so they could continue with their disgusting act.

The sight in front of my eyes is disgusting. I forgot my father was still talking.

The sound of his scratchy laugh sends a cold feeling down my spine, knowing that what will come after this is much worse than it ever was.

I make a prayer in my head  "please god let me live this beating, let me stay alive for when I kill my piece of shit of a family, after that you can do whatever you want."

All types of curse words coming straight at me, punches one after another, that was when I knew I was fucked when I heard my father grab the bat from the corner of the darkest shadow of the house.

memories hit me all at once, flooding my brain with my sad excuse for a life.

shit. my crappy piece of shit parents proved that I only have one option.

present

As I wake up from yet another haunting dream of my traumatic past, my heart races, and I find myself drenched in sweat. The images are so vivid, like ghosts from the past haunting my mind. It takes me a moment to realize that it was just a dream, but the residual fear lingers.

Before I can fully gather my thoughts, I feel Ava's comforting touch on my shoulder, gently shaking me awake. Her voice, soft and soothing, reaches my ears, reassuring me that everything is fine.

"Athena, it's okay. You're safe now. It was just a dream," she says, her words like a calming balm for my restless soul.

I take a deep breath, trying to ground myself in the present. Ava's presence next to me brings me a sense of security and warmth, like an anchor in the stormy sea of my memories.

"They don't exist anymore," she reminds me, her eyes filled with understanding. "You don't have to worry about them anymore. You are strong, and you've overcome so much."

Her words are a gentle reminder that my past no longer defines me. I am not the scared and helpless girl I once was. With Ava, adira and Blair by my side, I've found the strength to face my demons and move forward.

As we talk, I feel the weight of the nightmare slowly lift from my shoulders. Ava listens with unwavering support, and I know I can trust her with my deepest fears and vulnerabilities.

Together, we create a safe space where I can confront my past and find healing. Ava's presence is a lifeline, a beacon of hope that guides me through the darkest corners of my memories.

In her arms, I find comfort and solace, and the nightmares seem less daunting. I know that no matter how haunted my past may be, Ava will be there to help me face it with courage and love.

As the night turns to dawn, I realize that I am not alone in this journey of healing. I can confront my past and embrace the future with renewed strength and resilience. Our bond is unbreakable, and I know that together, we can conquer anything life throws our way.

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