🏆 THE AMBY AWARDS 2023 TOP PICK - DIVERSE LIT 🏆
It's Rin and Hye-jin against the world. Or so it should have been.
Nagara Rin and Joon Hye-jin, college sweethearts and passionate gamers, have lived a fairytale marriage. Not even a decade after did...
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The fire dimmed around us, plunging the space into a cold I haven't felt before. It was quiet, not a sound from us except for the deep sighs, the crackle of wood succumbing to the fire, and the soft pitter of raindrops against the stones and blades of grass. I stuck to the corner despite the chill beginning to lace around my arms. One small movement, and eyes would be searching mine for answers I wouldn't be able to give.
I rested my chin on my knees, making myself appear smaller. Nazran and Yaora stared at the urn beside the fire, a spot I couldn't bring myself to look at. Because if I did, it would make what happened more...real.
Slowly, my eyes drooped as exhaustion wrapped me in its embrace. I was about to doze off while hugging my legs to my chest when Ahrian spoke. "How could you just close your eyes?"
Everyone bristled, save for Cavya who ran a polishing stone down the length of his rapier and Valren who puffed out sweet-smelling smoke from a pipe, standing by the mouth of the cave. Could it be they're already used to this scene and were just waiting for things to unfold with the younger members?
"What do you want me to say, Ahrian?" I found myself saying. "There's nothing I could say to undo what just happened."
I turned away from them and rested my cheek on my knees instead. "Mirani loved you," Ahrian's pained voice bounced along the walls of the cave, dissipating with a loud ring into the darkness beyond. It left a searing trail in my gut, my soul, in everything. "She believed in you when none of us did. She made us see how valuable you are as our comrade, how having you by our side was something we won't regret. Look where it got her."
"Take that back," I whirled towards Ahrian. "Mirani doesn't deserve to be criticized even in death."
Ahrian shot up and stalked towards me. In her tattered suit and ruffled feathers, she towered over me like a tower teetering to the edge. "You don't get to say what she deserves," she said. "You don't get to say anything about her, especially after what you did."
It was the same thing all over again. This was a conversation I have had for a thousand times, with just a different person at the opposite end. A different world, a different circumstance, but always the same content. My fault. Always.
"Why must it all fall on me?" I spat out, unable to hold it back any longer. Why must anything fall on me, when all I wanted was to survive, to do my job to the best of my ability, and hopefully have a good relationship with my co-workers, including my boss. What's so wrong with that? "You agreed to this mission like I did. Shouldn't you be blaming yourselves for shoving Mirani to her fate?"
"Only because you twisted us around with your ridiculous arguments, whispering rot into our minds until we bent to your will," Ahrian seethed. Her eyes, despite how bird-like they were, misted. "Was this your plan all along? To lead us to our doom?"
"No! That's the last thing I would want," I fired back. Cavya had stopped sharpening his sword and Valren had taken out the pipe from between his lips. "You wanted to rise to the top. So did I! This mission was just the best way to do it, so I put my confidence on it. And now it was solely my mistake?"
