JayTim Oneshots

💚 Night Blogger

Summary: There's a blogger catching the internet's attention with a long, insane, and twisted tale. The problem is, he seems to persist under the impression that he's just a random anonymous blogger looking for advice on his relationship. That's all. [34,024 words]

Note: It probably goes without being said, but the thoughts of the commenters are not necessarily my own. I don't necessarily approve of all the language they use (particularly some of the less sensitive things), but I wrote what I thought would be realistic for random internet commenters.

CW: mental illness, references to sex, reference to sexual assault (non-explicit), reference to domestic abuse (non-explicit), reference to underage sex work (non-explicit), brief mention of suicidal thoughts, one use of f slur at the beginning (by Tim, about himself)

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BB's Rᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ Cᴏɴғᴇssɪᴏɴᴀʟ

Aʙᴏᴜᴛ:
Hi, I'm BB, and this blog is just an anonymous place to dump my confessions and perhaps slight worries about my relationship. I [20-30 M] and my boyfriend [20-30 M] have only been together for about a year now, but I think it's pretty serious. My uncertainty with that, however, lies in our complicated relationship and…colorful past. 

So I might just be yelling into the void, but if anybody is reading after all, I welcome responses to my posts! (If you're just going to leave bigoted comments though, save yourself the trouble and click away. I'll just delete them, and if you really want to hurt me, calling me a faggot isn't gonna cut it.)

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12 Aᴘʀɪʟ, 2023

If I'm dealing with the issues chronologically, I suppose where I should start is my bf trying to kill me. And BEFORE anybody judges him or our relationship too harshly, he wasn't at fault. 

He was under the influence of something that was altering his mind, rationality, and emotional control (actually…he still is. But he's learnt to cope with it and how to take back control of his mind and regulate his emotions. But, well, I suppose I'll get more into this and the effects in another post). And he was also being manipulated by someone (who knew he was under this influence, and who had been taking care of him in a parental and mentor-like role for several years since he was a teenager, starting at an EXTREMELY vulnerable point in his life). And he was specifically wound up and aimed at me and our father [EDIT: PLEASE read the next post before you fucking leave a comment about this. It's too long to explain here, but this was poorly phrased okay, it's not incest] so he really doesn't take most of the blame there. Of course he has to take responsibility for his actions, but I think it's important to understand that he was not in control here and to factor that in to handling the situation.

So after being wound up, he did try to kill me. Three times.

The first one was obviously most upsetting, but surprisingly, the third one was nearly as bad. The thing was…he had been starting to try to integrate a bit more back into the family [EDIT: again, READ THE NEXT POST, istfg] and a bit more…normally into the city. And he'd also literally just asked me to partner up with him and help him to accomplish something that in his mind was the sensical and right thing to do, but to the rest of us was clearly not a good idea for anyone. And I guess I just didn't expect him to go so far as to try to kill me again after the progress he had made. But looking back, this situation sort of exactly touched on the nerve that his former parental figure (let's say MP from now on — manipulative parent-figure) was manipulating him with, and me refusing probably really felt like he was being betrayed again (because that's what MP spun it as. Our father had betrayed him in the worst way, and I had come in as a malicious agent to that, and my whole existence was to just keep him rejected).