Python

C H A P T E R 58

He stood up from the bench, running his hands through his hands through his hair pacing around before finally sitting down.

"Are you hearing yourself right now ?" He arched his eyebrows finally looking at me.

"Hey hey." I raised my hand to stop him. "don't get all angry at me. It's your girlfriend you should be angry at, not me."

"Blue you're the most vile, manipulating, lying, deceitful and conceited human being I've ever met. Then you go and get yourself manipulated by Jessica ? for fucks sake JESSICA ?!"

"Well thanks for the compliments." I smiled before rolling my eyes.

"I'm being serious right now."

Tough crowd ? Okay...

"Look Kenny, I knew Jessica was trying to manipulate me at that moment. I'm not stupid." I replied looking at him. "But I was also not dumb enough to avoid her facts. No matter her intensions, everything she said was valid. She made sense, she stated facts. Facts that I couldn't avoid.. I wasn't trying to get myself arrested."

"Get yourself arres- Blue don't you think if I wanted to arrest you I would've done it at the hotel ?" He gritted his teeth, trying to lower his voice. "Why would I help you to escape if I wanted to arrest you ?!"

I sighed as I took off my sneakers and crossed my legs on the bench, looking at him. "Remember you once sent an agent to pose as a new recruit in my gang ?" I calmly asked him.

He looked at me confusedly before nodding. "Vincent ?"

"Yeah that one." I replied. "Vincent supplied you with information and incriminating evidence against the Goated Gang... But you still didn't arrest us. Why is that ?"

"Because it wasn't the right time to strike. I needed more evidence, more crimes mean a longer sentence and-" He stopped himself realising what I was trying to explain to him.

"You get my point don't you ?" I arched my eyebrows.

Kenny didn't arrest the Sixty eight's because of a petty crime, he got evidence on all the crimes they did, months of hardwork and plotting. Not only them but every other criminal he managed to capture. Like Jessica said, he doesn't rush into arresting criminals, he plans thoroughly before he strikes. Why was my situation any different ? Why was Python's situation any different ?

"Yes." He sighed. "But I wasn't investigating you Blue. I wasn't even in that state of mind at that time."

"But you were in the correct state of mind to fuck your ex ?" I chuckled. "You didn't waste time did you ?"

"I wasn't fucking her."

"Oh pleaseee save me the crap." I rolled my eyes.

I don't even know why this still hurts me this much. Worrying day and night about his mental health and emotional wellbeing to only find out he's wayy past our relationship. Finding Jessica in his apartment that day should've made me hate him, it should've made me feel nothing for him anymore. But it didn't, he was still on my mind every single fucking day in these past five years. I sometimes hate myself for not being able to hate him the way I should.

"Jessica was there to help me." He said after a long period of silence.

He heavily sighed. "Blue I slipped into depression after you left." He said and I looked at him with curiosity, hoping he'd go on.

"I was a mess Blue. I relied heavily on alcohol. It was the only thing that kept me sane and helped me numb the pain..I didn't want to do this life thing anymore, my life just didn't have value anymore. Felt like when you left, you left with my will to live."

"Four failed suicide attempts." He chuckled and my eyes widened, a tear falling from my eye as I looked at him.

"I was an alcoholic for a good six months before I got help." He looked at me wiping my tear before retrieving his hand. "Jake, Charlotte and Jessica were there for me. No matter how much I pushed them away.. they put up with my shit. they didn't give up on me. They refused to leave until I got help for six whole months."

"At that point I didn't want help, I didn't want them looking after me, I didn't want to stop drinking, I didn't want to put my life back together, I didn't wanna move on from you, I didn't want to find another reason to keep going, I just.. I didn't want to breathe." He sighed.

"Blue before you, I was empty, I didn't have a reason to live except finding my parents' killer. And when you came into my life... You filled my empty heart, you became my whole world, I thought I finally found a reason to live, I finally found someone to live for... but then you broke me and left me. Trust me, it's dangerous sorely relying on one person for your own happiness... Because when that person finally leaves- stop crying." He said looking away from me and I quickly wiped the tears that I didn't even notice were rolling down my cheeks.

"Sorry." I whispered trying to stop the tears.

"The worst part is, I wasn't even thinking about your betrayal. The only thing I could think of was how much I missed you, how much I needed you, how much I- was I stupid for wanting to fix things with you ?" He chuckled biting his lower lip. "Because after I found out you were telling the truth about my parents.. that's the only thing I wanted to do."

"I overlooked your mistakes, I overlooked your lies and deceit. The only thing on my mind was what if you were telling the truth about your feelings for me ? What if you genuinely loved me like you claimed you did ?..

But months passed without you coming back to atleast mend things or apologize for what you did. Not once did you show up. You used me and went back to your life, you moved on without a care in the world... That hurt slowly turned into anger. The anger that turned into resentment. The only thing I wanted to do was make you pay."

"Six months into the addiction, I came across the flash drive.. and I knew exactly how I'd make you pay. I picked myself up, I fought the depression, fought the addiction without any professional help. Just my determination to make you suffer." He continued. "I wanted to make you feel how your world could literally come crumbling down in a matter of seconds. How your life could take an unexpected turn and change for the worst, just because of a single person."