Newtmas Oneshots ^~^

Decker

Newt: I'm going to die

Newt: I'll never live until I'm twenty and I'm going to die today

Thomas: oh honey, I know

Newt: I haven't left my apartment and I need to

Newt: I have to live but I'm scared

Newt: Thomas

Thomas: yeah?

Newt: Thomas I can't breathe

Thomas immediately sent a video call request which was accepted.

Thomas's screen filled with darkness and the sound of shallow breathing.

"Newt? Newt I'm here." Thomas said.

The screen moved and a boy with a hoodie pulled far over his head appeared.

"Newt. Look at me."

The boy looked up and Thomas recognised those soft brown eyes filled with tears.

"Hey there," Thomas smiled softly, "I want you to breathe, okay?"

"I c-can't." Newt choked.

"Yes you can, forget about everything and focus on me. I want you to copy me, alright? Breathe, in and out, focus on me, in and out. Perfect. Now wipe your tears. That's it."

Newt looked up again.

"Wow," Thomas said, "you're even cuter in person."

Newt blushed and smiled a little. "Thank you Tommy. For all that, dealing with my mess."

"It's fine. Why were you crying?"

Newt inhaled and exhaled deeply. "I got the call. And I want to leave because wasting my last hours in my apartment seems, well, dumb. I'm too scared to go outside though. Part of me wants to stay here."

"They're all valid reasons for crying." Thomas mused. "How about I come get you?"

"I hardly know you."

"You trusted me enough to video call."

"I was desperate!"

"And you're desperate right now! I won't hurt you. I need a reason to leave as well."

"I don't know." Newt groaned, burying his face in his hands. He uncovered his face and asked quietly, "will you hold me if I cry?"

"Yes," Thomas said gently. "Yes I will."

"Okay. Come get me."

12 hours later

"Tommy." Newt mumbled into Thomas's neck. "I wanna go home."

"You sure?"

"I want to feel safe." Newt looked up. "There's nothing else I want to do."

"Okay." Thomas stood and pulled Newt off the bench. "Okay. We can go."

They slowly made their way back to Newt's apartment, knowing they'd never walk on that road again. They took the stairs and when Newt unlocked the door he breathed a sigh of relief.

"You were a stranger when you first came here." He said quietly, letting Thomas in.

"I was." Thomas wandered into the living room.

Newt walked down the hall and opened a door to the side, stepping in.

"This your room?" Thomas asked, following him in.

"Yeah," Newt smiled, sitting on the bed. He held out his arms.

Thomas crawled into Newt's open arms and they lay down on the bed.

It was quiet.

The reality was finally sinking in.

Newt buried his face in Thomas's neck, breathing deeply. "I love you Tommy," Newt whispered.

"I love you too Newt," Thomas kissed the blonde hair gently. "Do you believe in heaven? Or anything after death?"

Newt looked at him. "Yeah. I believe we live again but...not in the clouds. Have you read the Brothers Lionheart?"

"Yes."

"I believe in something like that. Why?"

"When we die, and I see you again...do you want to be together...?"

Newt bit is lip. "Yeah. I'd love to be with you."

Thomas leaned forward and pressed their lips together, then sat up. "We still have some time. Anything you want to do here?"

Newt blinked. "Make love."

Thomas's eyes widened. "You? Make love? With me?"

"Yes, Tommy." 

"You mean, like, actually...take our clothes off?" 

"We don't have to," Newt sat up. "But like...I don't know-"

Thomas kissed him. "You're so cute." 

(Three hours later) 

"I don't want to wait," Newt whispered. 

Thomas studied the blonde's face, stroking his cheek. "Do you have sleeping pills or something?" 

"Yeah. Fuck Tommy, how come you're not crying?" 

"Because I'm not afraid of dying. It's just something that happens. I've done everything I've wanted to do. I've said goodbye. Now?" Thomas shrugged. "Now I die." 

Newt buried his face into Thomas's neck. "Can you get them?" 

"Of course," Thomas kissed Newt's hand and got up. 

He came back with two bottles of sleeping pills. "I didn't know if they're the same or if one is stronger." 

"These ones are stronger," Newt took the bottle with red pills and unscrewed the cap. He sighed. "You don't have to do this with me if you don't want to." 

Thomas smiled. "I'm not living in a world where you're dead." 

Newt nodded. "Okay." 

He poured the pills onto the bed and halved them, giving one half to Thomas. "There's no coming back from this."

"I know," Thomas said gently. Then he took the small handful of pills and knocked them back in one go, grimacing as he swallowed. 

Newt did the same. "They don't taste nice." 

"Nope. Oh well," Thomas lay back down on the bed. "Come here, love." 

Newt rest his head on Thomas's chest as Thomas wrapped his arms around him.  

Not five minutes later, the pills started kicking in. 

"It's working Tommy," Newt mumbled. 

"It's working well," Thomas laughed. He tilted Newt's head up and kissed him. "I'll kiss you more in a while." 

"You mean when we're dead?" 

"Yeah." 

Newt closed his eyes and smiled contentedly. "Okay. I love you, Tommy." 

"I love you too, Newt."

They never said another word again.

This is depressing but I love it. 

And don't give me any "we were robbed" shit, okay?