Take Care of Me (Kim Seokjin) COMPLETED

Part 10

'another one' (DJ Khalid voice)

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Jungkook didn't know what to do.

His hyung was sleeping now, with his head resting in his lap.

Jungkook was still gently playing with his hair, trying not to wake the man up.

Today had been a very stressful day. He didn't know quite how to process everything. It started off so well- Taehyung and him had been so happy this morning. So had Jin hyung. 

Then it had all gone down hill. Jin was attacked by a psycho and he couldn't get to him. He saw the man come up behind him. He tried to yell but he was too far away. Even when he ran to him, with all the people getting in the way, he wasn't fast enough. 

Jungkook had never felt fear or helplessness like that before. Seeing Jin be thrown into the wall and punched. It was something he never wanted to see again.

What really scared him was after. It was when Seokjin was in the car, his hands balled into fists. Jungkook was aware that Jin didn't allow all sides of himself to be seen. He knew the oldest member felt a responsibility to shield the younger ones from things such as outbursts or emotional turmoil.

Jungkook had never realized he hadn't seen Jin angry before- not like that.

He couldn't blame him. After everything that had happened to him, he has a right- more than anyone- to be angry. Jungkook just didn't anticipate how difficult it would be to see his hyung like that.

It made him feel kind of guilty. Jin was going through more than they could ever imagine and here he was, stressing over seeing him exhibit a little bit of anger?

It really put things into perspective. Seokjin shielded them from so much. All this time, all these years, he has been protecting all the members of BTS. In any way that he could.

Jungkook looked down at Jin and brushed his dark hair away from his eyes. How many times had his hyung done this for him? Every time Jungkook had a headache he would lay his head in Jin's lap and he'd make it all okay again.

He did the same with Jimin when he was having a muscle cramp. He would massage Yoongi's shoulder when it was aching. He would rub Namjoon's neck when it was stiff from reading in a funny position for too long. He would make them their favorite food even if it took hours to prepare. He would drive them around when they wanted a lift somewhere. He would clean up after them if they left things lying around. If something was stressing them out with the company he would help them sort it. If they were sick, he would look after them even if he too was sick. If he was angry he would never shout or say mean things.

In that moment Jungkook realized how blind he was.

He looked around at the other members to find that Suga was already looking at him.

"What is it?" He asked softly, looking at Jungkook with gentle eyes.

He didn't know he was tearing up till he began speaking.

"He's done so much for us, hasn't he?" He spoke barely above a whisper. Seokjin was fast sleep but he couldn't bring himself to speak any louder. "How did I not notice before?"

Jungkook could see from the way he was staring at Seokjin that he understood. Everyone in the room had gone quiet and was listening carefully now. They all understood.

"We let him become our shield. We would lean on him when we couldn't bare the weight ourselves. And somehow, we forgot that he has demons of his own- now, more than ever." Yoongi said quietly, his voice holding all his emotion.

The room had become heavy with sorrow. 

"Jin hyung set himself standards so high, I don't think he has ever truly relaxed round us. Everything he has done has been to make sure we are okay and in doing this, he's forgotten how to take care of himself." Jimin added. 

Everyone nodded in agreement. They were all watching their hyung breathe with a soft look on his face. No expectations or standards to uphold, just him.

Jin didn't know that this is how they wanted him. He thought the boys wanted the hyung that looks after them. He thought they only wanted him when he was of value, when he had something to contribute.

He didn't know they just wanted him as he is, scars and all.

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Seokjin woke up to someone saying his name.

"-hyung, you should eat something." Namjoon said. The bodies underneath him had since left, if the cool surface of the sofa was anything to show for it. 

He nodded and sat up. The ice pack was no where to be found so he presumed one of the members had put it away for him when it had lost it's cold-ness. 

He sat back against the cushions, still waking up. It was dark outside by now, so he had probably slept for a goo 3 or 4 hours. He stretched his good arm above his head. 

"We ordered something and Taehyung chose your food, I hope you don't mind." Namjoon said, bringing a bowl over to him. 

"I don't mind." Jin said quietly. Namjoon sat with him as he ate and they both watched whoever was on the TV. It was a peaceful kind of co-existence. Neither feeling the need to fill the silence or bring up something irrelevant.

That was something Jin liked very much about Namjoon. He could just exist around him. There was no need for conversation or anything meaningful. They could just be in each other's presence, and that would be enough. It felt peaceful.

After some time, Jin had finished his food and he could feel the mood start to shift.

"I talked to the company about what happened when you were out." Namjoon began. It sounded like he was testing the waters, unsure if Seokjin wanted to have this conversation.

Seokjin did not want to have this conversation, but he nodded anyway. It was clear that the younger man needed to get this out so Jin pushed any personal discomfort aside.

"Mr Choi's son is going to be charged with assault and will either get community service or time in prison. The company have already got a restraining order against him for you. He won't come near you again."

This did make Seokjin feel a little better. Now they can't get to him anymore.

"Is there any more deranged relatives I need to know about?" He half joked.

Namjoon just smiled a sad smile and put his arm around his hyung, careful not to put pressure on his bad shoulder.

It was in this moment, existing with Namjoon, that Seokjin realized there was no running from this.

Something really bad had happened to him. This was not something he could ignore.

He had been going through the motions lately, trying to revert back to how he was. He had always been a pillar for his members, so he had tried to use that as a reason to ignore all his problems.

He now knew that he couldn't just hide away from his feelings and call it 'protecting' his members. Even though the thought of being vulnerable in front of them scared the hell out of him.

He had no idea where to start, but he was going to have to figure it out soon. 

He needed to learn how to open up. He knew he trusted them all like family, so he had nothing to worry about right? Trouble is, he had no idea where or when to start.

Well, no time like the present.

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Hurrah, another chapter for you lovely folks. comment if you like. Also, if you have any other Seokjin fics, like, please comment them. Thank you. Much appreciated muchachos. 

<3