Ever Lost

3

The Angel's common rooms were filled with commotion. A plethora of students were lounging around the common rooms, their conversations shallow and annoying. All they could think of since breakfast was the blessing, and while I had too been surprised it was mainly that the goddesses would bless Audrey and not anyone else. The subject had grown tired out halfway through first period, it was nearly lunch now and the conversation topic hadn't ceased. Envy plagued the rooms; they were to be thankful it was not a sin, or they'd all be damned. I isolated myself from the conversations, I had every right to include myself, despite my... discharge, I was still a child of the gods, and the others still treated me as such, but their disgust had made me wonder if I would've received the same treatment, or even if I would've gotten my halo back after receiving the blessing. The saints looked down on me with displeasure while exiting the dining hall, füforütsüsekækinün onüni, they had called me. Forsaken one. The goddesses had promised to never disclose my predicament, but the saints had ways of deciphering any detail of our faith, even down to me.

Worthless I was now; I'd never be anything more than than an angel who lost their halo. A useless angel. I looked over my shoulder, the other angels took their halo's for granted. Even I had done such a pitiful thing, but it left me remorseful now. They could not take my wings, so I was left without a purpose, without my honor. The conversations seemed so much more entitled once you were below them.

I dragged myself off the couch and forced myself out the Angel common rooms. I could hardly bring myself to smile at my friends the same anymore. Though she was stuck up and annoying, I couldn't help but agree with Audrey. She was right to feel distrusting of the angels, I never knew how spoiled I was until a few months ago. Now I couldn't help but be cynical.

I forced myself to sit through every class filled with kids all too enthusiastic to do anything but participate in their classes. Boring as they were, the angel common rooms were miles better than mock classes. The rooms were... regal to say the least. When the school was built, the angels put a considerable amount of detail into the room, our windows were stained glass, we had altars around the room for students to use at their disposal, soft velvet couches, cream rugs, a chandelier in the center of the ceiling. The room led to the rest of the dormitories, it was gorgeous to be fair, but so plain in comparison to our mage counterparts. It focused mainly on the goddesses as if we were nothing more than our wings and halos, nothing more than their servants.

After classes, I dragged myself back to my room through those halls, dressing myself in a black suit and tie, a contrast to the other angels who were sure to adorn themselves in silver, gold, white, and rose gold in honor of the goddesses, but I settled for a basic black suit and a small moth broach with the colors of silver and blue. I grabbed my school issued coat and once my roommate was ready, left out for dinner.

This dress isn't good enough, my makeup isn't perfect enough, I don't look right in that skirt, I can't wear those pants, this is a nightmare I think I'll skip dinner tonight. Were all thoughts that ran through my mind in different phrases for the past hour. Dinner started in the next twenty minutes, and I still couldn't find a pair of earrings to match with my dress, a long, velvet blue evening gown that split at my thigh. It had shoulder cuffs for sleeves, so I debated on bringing a shawl tonight in case it got cold. "Please, Audrey." Alice groaned impatiently. "I'm sorry, I'm hurrying."

"Are you? I've seen you go through like twenty good outfits so far." She said. "I'm sorry, I'm just stressed. I've been under scrutiny all day. I need to at least look good for dinner." I said, apologetically. Alice herself wore a black spaghetti strap, side splits dress with emerald accessories to match. Hers was simple but gorgeous regardless. Alice shuffled around me, "You look fine, you always do." She handed me a pair of sapphire earrings I had discarded earlier because they hadn't matched another dress, the same deep shade of blue as the dress I was currently wearing. They were bordered by diamonds, which matched the silver tassels on my dress. "Wear these." She said, handing me a diamond necklace to match. I put both the accessories on, and looked at myself in the mirror. All that I had stressed out about now seemed futile, she was right, I looked fine. The blue was a good choice, it complimented my deep brown skin, and my make up this evening took a natural route, allowing the outfit to speak for itself, my curls had been touched up since earlier, but remained indifferent. "Alright, I think I'm ready."

"Good, now let's go before you find something else to stress over." Alice said, grabbing my wrist and dragging me out the room.