Quest and Tillie

Chapter 17: Who We Are Now

Quest and I didn't say anything to each other as we walked out of the session with Dr. Brittany. I was feeling a little shaky and overwhelmed, and Quest looked like he was in pain or about to be sick. When he stopped walking and touched my arm, his face was serious as it usually was.

Unless he was smiling at me.

"Tillie, I don't know about you, but I want to get out of my head for a bit. You want to grab some food, go sit by the river?"

I didn't even have to think about that. I wanted to get out of my head, too. Possibly even my body, but that might be harder to accomplish.

"That sounds good."

"Why don't you go home and get Spring, and I'll go grab some food and we can meet by the river?"

"Cape's?" I asked, maybe a little pleadingly.

"Whatever you want," he promised.

Half an hour later, Quest pulled into a parking spot just as I let Spring off her leash. She ran around sniffing, so overwhelmed with new scents that she was zipping from place to place like a little fawn blur, pushed-in nose to the ground, tiny little stub of a tail wiggling happily. Quest grinned at me and held up a big bag of burgers from my favorite burger place, Cape's, while he balanced a cardboard drink holder with four drinks.

I'd already thrown down the quilt, and I took the drinks from him and set them down without spilling anything before I sat down. Quest sat on the other side of the blanket and put the bag of burgers between us.

"Got plain fries and seasoned ones. There's a cheeseburger for you in there, no pickles. Should be the top one. The other three are for me."

Then we got down to the serious business of burgers and fries and iced tea...and chocolate malts with fresh whipped cream on top for dessert. We hadn't said a word while we ate, just enjoyed our food, the sight and sounds of the river and Spring alternating between sniffing around the trees and coming to us, begging for food.

"How often do you teach your MMA classes?" I asked him once we were halfway through our malts.

"One class a night, Monday through Friday, and one class Saturday morning," he said. "Then I'll usually fight on Friday and Saturday nights and work on your house in between times."

"And the boy you're a Big Brother to?"

"Rhys I see once a week, before and after my Saturday MMA class."

"Do you sleep?" I asked him, laughing. "Between all this and working full time plus?"

"Yeah. I sleep, but being busy is a good thing. How about you? You've got to be pretty damn busy with school, studying, your job, Spring and your hiking club."

"Being busy is a good thing," I gave his words right back to him and he grinned at me.

Quest stretched out on his back, hands under his head. "Being busy fills the time void, but it doesn't do anything to help me stop missing you. More than fourteen months later, and it's no easier than it was at the beginning."

I completely agreed, but I wasn't going to tell him that yet. After his betrayal, Quest had opened up to me more, and I kept more back. Which wasn't all that surprising, according to Monica.

"What if I never come back to you, Quest? What are you going to do then?"

He sat up at that and looked at me. "Keep doing what I've been doing. Work. Teach classes. Be a Big Brother. Most of all, I'd miss you every day."

"And what if I remarry? Have children with another man?"

His eyes were pained. "I'd be happy for you, Til. I'd be happy because you were happy again. But I'd have to move away because it'd kill me to see you with children that weren't mine."