22. Fighting against fate

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"We did it, everyone!" Saif tells his analysts at the Institute, "enjoy the rest of the summer! Be here on mid-august so we can make a last test."

Everyone claps. All their hard work has finally paid off.

"Ikubor!" Saif runs closer to him. "Here's your new contract. Hand it signed to Padma. Great work!"

"Thank you, sir."

Aminu admires his contract for a little bit, taking it all in. You did it. He sees Padma and she asks him to meet her in the office.

"Are you heading home?" Padma asks while Aminu signs the contract.

"Yeah, I think I can fly tomorrow, you know." He hands it to her.

"I meant now, but it's great that you're going there. Aren't Emily Roberts and Jade Harris on Africa?"

"They are, and they'll be in Nigeria next week, I think. I'll see if we can meet up. Are you going to India?"

"Sadly no. We should hang out when you get back."

"Of course, o. We'll hang out in the lab for the last tests."

"Of course!" Padma laughs, "have a pleasant flight. Enjoy home!"

***

The children from the Kenyan institute loved to hear about Jade, how she, who was practically one of them, was the number two in the entire world. They dreamed of doing the same, leaving for the United States of America and reaching the top 10. 

Emily stays put and lets her have that day. They wouldn't be long there, and Jade was truly proud of her ancestry. She still wishes the girl would notice her, but she didn't. She ignored her again for the entire day.

By nighttime, Emily lies on the bed, stalks Jade's profile, the comments that people post, the likes. She tries to understand if any are from girls that live on the next stops of the tour.

She throws her phone away and tries to watch some tv. But a few minutes, if so, later, she's back to holding her phone, seeing if Jade's online and why she hasn't replied to any of her messages.

There's this dinner tonight... it's with her grandparents. Ok, but that doesn't mean there isn't other people there. Right, but the other people would be family too. That's safe.

She receives a text from Aminu, asking to meet up. She ignores it immediately to focus on Jade's photos instead.

Someone knocks on her door and Emily ignores it. The knocking grows.

"Emily, it's me, open up," Jade says.

Emily gets up in one go and rushes to the door.

"Can I come in?" She wipes her tears.

Emily hugs her and closes the door.

"What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"You owe me that much, no? At least an explanation."

Jade takes a few short breaths.

"We'll talk tomorrow."

"You have mistreated me-" For years now. You keep pushing me away and pulling me closer whenever you want to. It's always on your terms.

"You know how hard things get with my side effects. It's not me. I wish I could just care, but I don't on those moments."

"Your side effects may explain your behavior, Jade, but they don't excuse it."

"I'm devastated, and you decide that this is the right time to bring up your feelings. Sure, I'm the self-centered one. This was a mistake."

"I'm sorry. Please stay."

She holds her, caressing her hair while the girl cries. Jade closes her eyes finally, and Emily takes a deep breath.

She chose to come here. To have me comfort her. That must mean something.

When she wakes up, Jade had left already.

It didn't mean anything. Again.

***

Back in the United States of America, Diego and Ánh are in the operations room.

"Have you done something different today?" Ánh notices that Diego's face isn't the same, but can't pinpoint what changed.

"No, just took a shower," he smiles.

Diego changes their appearance, and they hold hands while walking in the park, the one they claim to be theirs. It's the place where many first moments happened, the first time Diego opened about his family history, first time Ánh admitted to missing her parents, first time he worked up the courage to hold her hand and ask her if he could kiss her.

It wasn't so long ago that it happened, but whenever they fought, it seemed light years away or worse, that they never happened in the first place.

They lie down near the lake and discuss which shapes the clouds turned into. Ánh brought some strawberries and Diego pretends to give one to her and instead kisses her.

I wish we'd always be like this. That you'd stay this blissful. I'm always one wrong word away from sending you back to your painful past.

Some days, he couldn't move past from there. He wasn't in the present but stuck in his memories. She tried her best to get him out, but he wouldn't leave. In his head, he goes over everything that happened and everything that didn't. 

Every day she didn't know which Diego she would find, the thoughtful one that she came to understand and care for, or the young man who didn't save his family and regrets being alive.

"I dream that one day this'll all be over. And all the pain we have, everything that happened, it'll be okay, because we built a better world. One where we'll be free and happy," Diego says.

"But we are in that world now, even if momentarily. I'm happy. We're alive. Free."

Diego gets up and looks away.

Oh, the wrong word, which one, Ánh isn't sure, and Diego wouldn't explain.

As soon as they arrive home, Alex says out loud that the power couple had a fight. Ánh runs to Rachel's bedroom.

"I'm so tired, Rachel. It's always the same thing."

"He has a lot of demons. Until he moves past his guilt, he won't be healed enough."

"There's nothing to feel guilty for."

"There is. He's here and they aren't."

"What if he never forgives himself? Do you think we are just postponing the inevitable? I wonder about that sometimes... most times. Like we keep trying to be together when maybe we just aren't made for one another. We keep fighting against fate, and we will lose in the end."

"I don't believe in fate and don't believe that anyone's meant for anyone else either. But I think he needs to heal. If that's by your side or by himself, I don't know."

With Ánh 's teardrops, Rachel made a little dance, and for a minute there, she believes in the world's beauty.

"I'm tired of it all, Rachel. I used to think that in the States I'd be happy, and then the Institute happened. Then I thought, on the movement I'll be happy, and here I am crying myself to sleep whenever he makes me feel worthless. Only focusing on survival because we have no right to be happy. A tied-up buffalo hates an eating buffalo, and it's true, I envy the humans. Sometimes I wish I was born without the gene."

"Don't say that, Ánh..."

"Don't you?"

"I wish things were different, yes. Sometimes I think about how different they could be, if Megan hadn't destroyed the community, if Amy hadn't died. How different my life would be today. But I never regret being born a deviant, and I'll never stop fighting until everyone has equal rights. And in the meantime, we won't just survive, Ánh. We'll live a life that we're proud of."

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