Shared Heart. (Fluff)

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Your hands were dripping wet, you didn't remember being this nervous before in your life. As much as you might be exaggerating, it was impossible to ignore the fact that this was something important to Alex. So, it was such a big deal for you.
It was the first time you'd meet Alex's friends, and although you were nervous, you were also happy to see Alex so excited to introduce you.
"It's okay, Miles and Matt are nice people," you laughed lightly and he pulled you into a hug.
You were sitting at the table in the pub, sharing a beer while waiting for them. Alex had arrived minutes early, to give you time to breathe and get used to the space before meeting them, but he was afraid that that hadn't been a good idea.
"It'll be great, you'll see," you nodded, burying your head into his shoulder as he kissed your hair and held you close. "Even if it goes wrong, you'll still be mine, y'know."
You exploded into silence and Alex was relieved to see you'd be fine.
A few minutes went by and then Miles and Matt entered the pub, Alex waved at them as you sat up better, still with his warm hand holding yours.
Alex stood up and warmly greeted his mates. Not lingering on amid excessive handshakes and backslapping, he wrapped his hand around your waist, introducing you to them. His cheek flushed in excitement, seeing your shy smile at them soon getting dissolved as they enveloped you in a tight hug, making you feel immediately welcome.
Alex kept his hands on you, pulling you to him, to let you know he was there. You had a goofy smile as Matt started to mention something you had in common, something that was information that was impossible not to know about you since Alex rarely didn't mention something about you.
Alex's eyes roam over you, still worried that you could be uncomfortable but happy to see you were getting along so well in the first time. Soon, you smiled at him, warming his chest. His face was full of colors. At that, Matt raised an eyebrow at Miles, who was watching Alex's behavior like watching a 90's rom-com, who smiled back in confirmation.
As they talked, you realized that Alex was right in saying that his friends were fun and funny. You laughed a lot with the stories they told about their band adventures and felt more and more comfortable in their company.
Miles, in particular, seemed to have a sense of humor very similar to Alex's, which made the two of them get along very well. You watched the two of them talking and laughing together, feeling grateful to have found someone you loved as much as Alex.
Suddenly, you heard Miles say something to Alex, but couldn't quite hear what it was. When you asked what they were talking about, Alex smiled and said it was "just an inside joke."
For now you let it go, drinking a sip of his beer, something you were used to doing since you didn't like it getting cold but you couldn't drink it fast either, you went back to the conversation. They were lovable, you could see yourself spending hours and years away with them, you hoped Alex had concluded the same.
However, later on, when they were alone, Alex revealed to you what Miles had said: that you were the female version of him, but in a better and right way. You blushed with happiness upon hearing that and hugged Alex tightly, more in an attempt to hide your warmed face.
"I love you," you told him, with a happy smile, humming vibrations on his chest.
"I love you too, lil' one," replied Alex, kissing you softly on the forehead.
The night ended with everyone saying goodbye, but Alex was happy to know that he could now share the joy of being together with their closest friends and girlfriend.
That same night, when Matt hugged him goodbye, Alex had his friend whisper in his ear that it looked like he got it right this time, that you were the one. However, Alex kept that to himself, not content to smile about it whenever the memory came to him, even years after it happened.
...
"Al?" Your voice was velvety, making him feel like an idiot for being so nervous.
He leaned his hand against the door, pressing his forehead over the way too, as if that would draw him closer to you. He hadn't seen you since the night before, which was really fun and cozy by the way, and if it weren't for you being so superstitious, he'd be snuggling with you right now, holding your hand and kissing your forehead, waiting until it was time to go into the altar.
"I bet you look beautiful, the most beautiful bride ever." He heard your sweet sigh and Miles laughing at him. Miles had guided you so that you could see each other before the ceremony without actually looking at each other.
"Be quiet, I want to hear him." You hit Miles with your elbow. Both you and Alex had forgotten he was there.
"I'm sorry, and that he was delirious with nervousness until he spoke to you. Your man is crazy, he even asked if you wouldn't leave him, can you believe it?" Miles asked, making you laugh. You imagine this happening, Alex dropping such words as a joke but deep down questioning himself about it. You didn't blame him, you understood that it was his nature, and just like him, you were nervous. Even though you know he loved you unconditionally.
Miles took a step back, making you more comfortable. The first thing you did was give your hand for Alex to take, his hand was cold and sweaty, soon your heart was tight in your chest.
"Alexander, you won't be getting rid of me anytime soon, you better calm down." His laughter filled you. Your voice was full of emotion and he felt empty for not being able to comfort you.
"I thank you, I'm about to make you mine. I refuse to lose you before or after this." You squeezed him and then his lips touched your skin.
"I know we've always agreed that getting married was no big deal, and I really do think so, but now it feels like something so special, I don't know," you laughed nervously, being welcomed by a far from uncomfortable silence. You heard Alex light a cigarette and within a few seconds it was in your hand.
It was welcoming having him there, you could swear you could taste him in your puffs, as well as his scent on you. It was making you delirious, you were dreading it.
"I'm looking forward for you to have my last name. I didn't think about it as anything special either, you made me change my mind." Soon, he took the cigarette and you were hoping to have the damp corners back to your lips. You couldn't stop smiling, you felt the same way.
.....
"Did I do something wrong? You do not look well." His voice was calm, nonjudgmental. He was just seeing that you had come home quieter and wanted to see you good again.
"I'm sorry, it's not you." In contrast, you sounded tired, not irritated but annoyed with yourself.
It hadn't happened much, just the usual. The party wasn't long, there were mutual friends, good music and drinks and one or a few Alex's ex-girlfriends in your sight.
"You're too thoughtful, and although I don't want to be a bore about it, I do care about you, babe." He stared at the toothbrush, not touching it as you sat on the counter opposite him. You were busy in your own head and before you could think about controlling yourself you felt a lump form in your throat, you hated that feeling.
"You know you can trust me, right?" He touched his fingers to your thigh, albeit reluctantly. He didn't want to treat you like a bomb about to blow out but he didn't feel like he had enough intimacy with your vulnerabilities.
"I know, it's just so stupid." You sighed deeply, voice clearly affected. Still, you took his hand and brought it up to your waist to have him close. He felt more useful and kissed your forehead.
"If it's affecting you, it's not stupid," he held your face, quietly respecting your time until you felt ready to speak if you wanted to. His nose dipped into you as his forehead rested on yours. You nuzzled into his touch.
Unable to look at him, you closed your eyes, following in embarrassment. "That sounds so unhappy, but, huh, I Googled you at the party," you paused, knowing this was crazy but Alex just waited for you to continue. "Al, I don't want you to think this is important. It's going to sound ridiculous anyway."
"It's okay if you don't want to tell me, but it sounds like you do and you're afraid of my reaction. I wouldn't diminish something that makes you feel vulnerable."
He looked at you tenderly, making you feel pathetic for taking up so much of his patience and time for something so trivial. "I never researched your girlfriends because it's wrong, I know that. I didn't care about what they looked like, at least not knowing how they really looked. However, today I saw Miles shake hands with one of them and introduce me to her. He said I was your girlfriend, she gave me a quick, even sympathetic look, and I felt terrible. So, within minutes, I had access, knowledge of, I don't know, of what all of your girlfriends look like physically." Your body shook, you were lighter. Still, you didn't want to have to talk to Alex about this.
It took him a few minutes to process but he stayed with you, squeezing your hand or running his thumb over your skin. "Google made me dirty?" He arched his eyebrows, you chuckled. He had teary eyes, as if seeing you badly affected him.
"No, it makes you look like an awesome boyfriend actually." You knew he didn't understand your point of view, yet he was patient.
"They're all ex-girlfriends, babe, like right in the past. I wouldn't do this to you." He didn't sound judgmental, just apprehensive. He kissed your hand and you felt your tears.
"I trust you, Al. I know you wouldn't," you let him hold you and buried your face in his chest in a silent whimpering. "They're all stunning, Alex. I don't fit in with them, I don't fit in with you."
"No, don't say that," he snapped back, trying to look at you only to have you hug him even tighter. It was excruciating for him to know that you felt that way, knowing it wasn't true. "I don't want to hear you say it again, I'm in love with you, fully, okay?" He stroked your hair, snuggling you into him. "Besides, even if they're in the past, if they're all pretty, you know that makes you pretty too, right? I'm sorry you don't know how stunning you are but you are, babe." His voice was comforting, as was his touch. You stayed in his arms for more seconds and he didn't seem to care. When you broke away, you looked at him, who had red eyes and ears too, and smiled slightly.
"You don't think you're pretty?" You stood still, still avoiding looking at him. Soon, he was kissing away your tears and gripping your chin tightly. Somehow, that wasn't awkward. "I'm grateful you shared this with me, I would never have known and it seems to be something that bothers you a lot. Any part of you is relevant to me, no matter what it is."
There was a pause in your brain, as if you didn't believe he was real and then you replied, "I don't think I'm pretty enough to be with you, Al." You felt tired and saying it out loud felt like lifting a weight off your shoulders. You feared that Alex had noticed that on you. He looked hurt but just nodded before kissing your forehead. "I swear I love you, babe." You completed it after seeing him hover for a few seconds.
"I know, I love you too and I will make you see yourself with my eyes."
......
"Mrs Turner, I like this." You smiled with your tongue between your teeth, the words had come out like savoring candy. He soon followed you in a cozy chuckle, you could picture his wrinkled eyes and wide shy smile. Alex really made love feel calm and comfortable, as it should be.
"Glad you got used to it already, I'll just call you that now, Mrs. Turner." He passed you the cigarette, the smell of him invading your body, just like the light mint taste.
You felt radiant, inside and out. "Alex," you waited until he showed you he was still attentive. "I feel beautiful, the dress is amazing and Amanda did a great job of not showering me with heavy makeup. I can't wait for you to see me."
You could feel him smiling through the lines, his voice full of affection. "Not that I need to see you to know, but I know you're stunning, I can't wait to see you, darlin'."
.....
Alex came home from work feeling miserable. He had a splitting headache, and his body ached all over. He didn't want to admit it, but he knew he was sick. He tried to brush it off, telling himself that he was strong and that his immune system would take care of it. Something he had already told you countless times with the most shameless face in the world when he was feeling terrible.

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