At this point, you didn't care anymore, even though you had cared so much about it in the beginning. Alex was much more mature, and it was evident from his tastes, the way he treated you, and the delicate lines that formed at the corners of his eyes when he smiled at you. He might be almost a decade older than you, but you couldn't feel more comfortable and desired by anyone else. Prior to him, you had only one relationship, if you could even call it that, and the aftermath of it was so bitter that it made Alex seem unreal. This raised a concern in your mind at first, but soon Alex proved to be more than just good words and manners. On the contrary, you wouldn't be ending this night beside him if that weren't the case.
His gaze was thoughtful over you, and for a moment, you almost believed that you might break. Then, his velvety voice filled the room, "Are you sure about this?" Sitting on the bed, facing each other, he rested his hand on your waist, fingering the fabric of the light blue dress that matched his baby blue suit.
He looked stunning in that warm light, his face rosy with anticipation, and his breathing uneven and clear no matter how hard he tried to hide it. You wanted that, and being able to feel how much Alex desired you without being intrusive about it made you want him even more, without feeling guilty about what might be coming.
"It's just sex," you said, your voice betraying your nervousness.
He chuckled, but not in a judgmental way, but in a welcoming one. "Maybe it would be just sex if I didn't love you so much. I'm nervous because it's my first time with you."
You wrinkled your nose, letting your head fall on his shoulder as he hugged you around the waist. You were cold, a little shaky, and your mind kept circling the fact that he had done this before countless times, and he might not enjoy doing it with you. You couldn't hide your nerves, even if you tried hard enough, because Alex knew you, and he would notice it.
"Do you want to talk about it first? You might feel more comfortable," he kissed your head, his touch gentle, enveloping you into him. You wanted him so badly. "And, you know, I’m pretty much yours and we have all the time in the world. It doesn't have to be now. There's no hurry."
As you furrowed your brows, Alex could sense the shyness in your smile. "What is it? You don't want to have sex with me?" you asked, your voice low and quiet.
You cringed in agony, yearning for something you didn't even know what it felt like. Alex noticed your discomfort and pulled back a little, leaning his hands behind him so he could look at you better. He straightened the strap of your dress that had fallen down, following your eyes with a fond gaze.
He then took off his blazer, folding it neatly and placing it at the foot of the bed. As he returned his hands to your waist, he lightly squeezed the spot, making you take your fingers to his broad shoulders for balance. With just his t-shirt on, he looked even more delirious, his toned arms and neck sticking out.
As if he could hear your thoughts, he guided your hips so that you were in his lap. It wasn't like you'd never spent hours glued to him for a makeout session, yet this was different. Before you could hide your face from him, he cupped your chin with a firm touch, like that you couldn't look away from him. "I could never explain how much I want this," he whispered, and then let you snuggle up to him.
Your arms and legs tightened around him as your head settled into his neck. Your hand roamed over his covered chest, sneaking through the opened buttons, feeling the warmth of his body, working its way from his neck to the nape to feel his soft curls until your fingers were intertwined in the chain of his necklace, as if he was made for you to fit into like a puzzle piece.
"I want you, Alex," you murmured, feeling the tension building up between you two.
He tenderly kissed his way along your skin, leaving a trail of soft kisses that made you feel weak in the knees. Eventually, he made his way up to your mouth, his hands gliding over your thighs and pulling you close to him. You were completely enveloped by his touch, and you couldn't help but feel incredibly turned on by it all. As he slipped his tongue into your lips, you let out a low groan and tugged at his hair, causing him to let out a grunt as well. But then, you grinned excitedly against him, and he pulled back with a look of amusement.
"Enjoying yourself?" he asked, all husky.
You nodded, your hands icy cold while your entire body was warm. Getting more comfortable, you felt his bulge, something that seemed sudden given how fast and focused on his lips your mind were.
"Answer me, pumpkin. I need your voice to make sure we're doing okay, I don't want it to be uncomfortable in any way for you." He assured, dipping the tip of his nose into your skin and showering you in more kisses. From there you knew he would continue to guide you through the little nuances, and you didn't care, you liked his voice.
