Emotional Detachment

Fools: 3rd session

I should've told him.

His hurried steps echoed through the hallways.

I should've told him.

He looked down at his cast. The pain had lessened, but his heart was still beating out of his chest. He came to a stop.

Why didn't I tell him?

Why didn't he tell Kim about the bugs? Why didn't he come clean?

"I'm an idiot!" he muttered to himself, then continued to the doctor.

A sigh of relief escaped him as the small office was empty.

He sat down on a stool and took a deep breath, staring at his cast. His heart was loud in his ears, afraid of what he would see once he took it off. With shaky fingers, he slowly took off his cast, his arm hot and pounding from the incident still.

It was red, irritated, and thinner than he remembered it to be. There was the scar from the surgery, and faint traces of the stings he had removed a few weeks ago.

It fit the rest of him perfectly, broken, and in need of healing.

There was also bruising from Kim's grip. He traced over it, shaking more, and tears fought in the corners of his eyes.

How much it affected his recovery, he didn't want to know. As if he even deserved to recover.

"What happened?" a voice sounded behind Big, and he turned his head to see the doctor walk into the office. "I just... accidentally hurt me" he vaguely explained, and the doctor sat down in front of him, inspecting his arm.

"You know this is going to delay your return, right?" Big's heart sank, and his throat closed up.

He nodded "Yes..."

"How long?" he cautiously asked, and the doctor shrugged "maybe a week, maybe longer. It depends on how bad it is, and if the bone was damaged" Big nodded "There's some new bruising" the doctor commented, and Big didn't say anything, just looking in silence as the doctor finished checking his arm, heart beating out of his chest.

I should've just told him.

"From now on, just do as I say,"

"Instead of forcing me to do something I don't want to"

It was almost as if he regretted it, and felt guilty about it. Kim didn't want to hurt him, he didn't enjoy it. He didn't do it because he was angry, frustrated, or purely because he could, but because Big didn't do his job.

Whatever Tankhun said about Kim and Vegas being alike, they're not. Kim didn't want to hurt him.

"How... how bad is it?" His voice was shaky, and he tried to stay calm.

"Let's get your arm scanned first" the doctor spoke with a small smile

"I'll inform them of the delay, in the meantime" he continued, and Big nodded "Yes".

When he got inside his room, a sentence echoed through his head.

"Must feel like the whole world hates you"

He let himself settle down on the floor.

He didn't blame Kim, resent him, for saying so because he was right. It was as if life told him to give up.

He closed his eyes, resting against the door.

He couldn't even do his job right, torn between the main family and Kim.

He didn't deserve to be here.

"Has it been a week already?" Kim commented when Big escorted Park inside a few days later.