Facing Fear | ✓ ONC 2023 Honorable Mention

7 | Don't Let Go

Under their feet, the cracking of twigs lessened as the trees thinned out and gave way to heath. Bell-shaped purple flowers dotted the landscape and fireflies floated like little lanterns in the settling dusk. Ronin sat down on a rock and gestured for Mori to take another.

In the stillness, Mori listened to the heavy rasping of his breaths.

"I...have a sort of surveillance ability." Ronin wiped his palms on his pant legs and got up halfway before sitting back down again.

"And what does that mean?" Mori nudged.

His words spilled out like a tsunami now and she couldn't have halted the tide if she tried. "When someone shakes my hand, there's a—a dot that appears on this mini map. With that I can see where they are, where they're going..." Ronin's voice lowered. "When they disappear."

A memory flashed through Mori like fire, of Ronin rescuing her and extending his hand. It left her suddenly cold. "How many can you keep tabs on?"

"As many as I want to."

Mori bit her lip, toying with her lucky coin on its cord. "You greeted the Fearless so you could track them. Did all of them shake your hand?"

"No." Ronin swept his cloak hood back and raked a hand through his hair. "There were a few who didn't and it's not like I force them to." He stared straight at her, eyes filled with something like worry—or fear. "You didn't."

She looked away, weighing which questions were important and which ones could wait. "How many Fearless are there and how many are left?"

"About two dozen. Of the ones I can see, a third are gone." Her teammate plucked a purple flower and squeezed it in his fist. When he opened his hand, sparkling violet dust floated away. "The rest are in the fifth ring mainly—grinding to make it through the sixth is my guess."

I hope those Fearless went home. Better than dying with nothing gained. "How bad is the sixth ring?" Mori whispered. "Have you been there?"

"Yeah," Ronin muttered, crushing another flower in his hand. "It's a nightmare."

"But you still want to go?" Mori didn't know what she'd do if she lost her guide. Maybe find another party, team up with another Fearless. Neither appealed to her as very good options.

Ronin stood up, the sudden motion scattering the fireflies that had gathered around. "I want to end this. I've got nothing left to lose." His cloak darkened to an uncanny obsidian, a shade that seemed to suck in and devour the remaining light.

"You have your life to lose," Mori said, already anticipating what was coming.

Though Ronin laughed, it sounded pained. "If I was afraid of death, FEAR would have killed me already." He threw his head back and screamed at the sky, "You hear that! You can't kill me in any way that matters! You can't purge me of fears that aren't there! Let me give you death instead, you—!" Maybe FEAR could hear Ronin—his continued cursing and threats. Maybe it couldn't or didn't bother at the ant screeching at it from the dirt.

As for Mori, she sighed and started trekking toward the wall. Ronin would catch up after he blew off the steam. Guy almost ran on clockwork with his weekly rants at the unseen AI. Two years, Mori reminded herself. He's been here for over two years. Who knew what kind of strain that put on the mind, with accelerated time and no sleep. Ronin might crack soon.

He might have cracked already.

He's insane and dangerous. But I wouldn't have made it this far without him. The thoughts tangled in her mind, locked in combat. Once they made it past the fourth ring, she'd let them have it out. The decision could be made then, a victor made clear. That's what Mori told herself. Until then, she listened to Ronin's cries grow hoarse and watched his stats spike haphazardly before leveling out again.

If this is what it took for him to have good mental the other six days and twenty-three hours of the week, she wouldn't judge. There were worse ways to deal with being trapped in a death game by a psychopathic AI.

That's what Mori told herself when Ronin rejoined her and they pretended like he hadn't had a breakdown, just like every other time. She didn't try to pry into the things he screamed at FEAR and he resumed his role as the wise mentor without a crack in his armor.

"You never told me who it is you're looking for," Ronin said quietly, a slight scratch in his voice. They'd reached the wall, but he hesitated outside. The toe of his boot cut into the grass and dirt.

Mori paused. "My sister."

Ronin's foot abruptly stopped moving. "It might be better if you don't find her. Shut down FEAR instead and if she's still alive, you'll see her again."

"My sister's alive," Mori asserted. Anger bubbled up like lava in her chest and she stepped through the wall so Ronin wouldn't see the tears surfacing.

Her heart dropped. Wind ruffled her hair upward. A wooden step supported her feet, but past its edge, the world fell away and she could only see an empty azure sky with nothing below. She stepped backward and stumbled past the wall again into the third ring, panting for breath. Oh gosh, I could kiss the ground right now.

"How did the fourth ring manifest for you?" Ronin said dryly.

She wanted to slap him. "You could have warned me! What if I fell off the edge and died? What would you do then!" Her hands shook, but hugging her arms couldn't get them to stop.

Ronin whistled. "Scared of heights, huh? Don't worry. You can't take more than a single step into the fourth ring alone."

"That's not comforting, Ronin." Mori shivered. How was she supposed to get across that blue abyss? Grow wings and fly?

"Wasn't trying to be." Ronin's cloak pixelated and vanished. It was the first time he'd been without it since they met. Black leather gloves materialized to cover his hands. He held one out to her. "We have to stick together to make it through this one, but at least I'll be right there with you all the way, yeah?"

Mori eyed his hand suspiciously. 

"I'm not going to track you without permission—doesn't work when I'm wearing gloves," Ronin said. He extended his pinky. "Promise?"

"Fine." Mori hooked her finger with his. "Pinky promise."

When they stepped through the wall together, fingers still interlocked, floating steps had appeared. Thin ones.

She tentatively stretched her foot out and tested it, but the wooden plank bobbed under her weight. Meanwhile Ronin stepped out and Mori almost pulled him back because his foot came to rest on...nothing.

"How are you standing on thin air?" Mori squeaked.

"Because it's not thin air for me," Ronin gritted out between his teeth. "And there's currently a snake slithering across my ankle, so can we go now?"

Squeezing Ronin's wrist in a death grip, Mori put her foot on the step again. It didn't move as badly with her full weight on it. But she couldn't stand on the air like Ronin—it was a mistake trying not to look down and finding the next board by feel.

"What happens if I fall?" Mori asked.

"Then you'll probably drag me down into the snake pit with you," Ronin grunted. His leg twitched before he kicked an invisible murder slinky off.

Mori couldn't help but giggle a little at the sight. It kept her mind from playing with the vision of her body plummeting through the sky until the fall damage killed her. "I'll let go then."

Ronin adjusted his hand to lace his fingers through hers, grip tightening. The sheen of sweat glistened on his forehead and plastered his hair to his face, so oddly still while hers whipped all around them.

"Don't you dare," he whispered, almost pleading in the same way Shiori had when she'd begged for Mori to play with her. "Don't you dare let go."

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Chapter Word Count: 1943
Total Word Count: 14207