the office ➳ lashton

seventy four

"hey luke, what do actually want to do for a job because i doubt you would actually want to go your entire life doing this crappy one."

"but this job holds so many memories."

"like what?"

"it's where we first met."

"we met when we were toddlers."

"oh yeah, that's right!"

"i can't believe you forgot."

"what can i say, i got dropped on the head as a kid and now my memory is jacked up."

"okay... back to the question."

"you know those stickers on fruit that have the label on it?"

"yeah."

"i wanna be the guy that puts them on the fruit."

"such high expectations for yourself."

"right? i just don't know where to apply to!"

"what's another job you would want to do?"

"well ashton, i want to be famous for doing nothing much like kim k but since that most likely won't work out, i'll settle for being a doctor."

"ha! that's great, luke. have fun spending your years in college getting a degree for that. i thought you hemophobia?"

"huh? why would i have a phobia of my last name ashton? that's kinda absurd."

"hemophobia is the fear of blood, not your last name doofus. i just know that every time you're around blood you squirm in your seat or have a hissy fit."

"i do not."

"in year nine you fainted when we bisected frogs and in year eleven- i think, you went in for flu shots and you fainted the instant the lady put the cotton swab on your arm to clean it."

"i fainted?"

"yeah, you got your shots taken unconscious! it was probably better that way since you always struggle and run out of the room."

"that was one time!"

"sure, sure."

"okay, what do you want to do, ashton?"

"i wanna be yours."

"you're so cheesy."

"i know, but you enjoy it."

"okay but foreal, what is your future occupation, mr irwin?"

"to be the puppy bowl referee."

"hmm, great choice mr irwin, you'll have all the ladies falling for you."

"but i'm dating you so i'll tell them to take a step back and find someone who will actually like them."

"i'm your main priority, lovely."

"bros before hoes, am i right?"

"more like poles before holes."