If I Lose Myself

Catalina

As my dad held me in his arms I tried to get Tim's face out my head. The dream felt so real, in the dream, Tim was choking me to the point where I thought I was going to die. So when I woke up it felt like I couldn't breathe and I started having a panic attack. My chest was hurting bad and to add to it everyone here heard me scream and cry. They were going to surely rub it in my face, why did this have to happen to me?

"It's okay baby, just breathe." My dad ran his finger through my hair. "It was just a dream. You're safe."

"It felt so real. L-like he was here." My dad's grip tighten on me. "I messed up your night didn't I?"

"No baby, you didn't. I would drop everything for you in a heartbeat." I turned more into his chest loving the warmth he was giving off.

"Will you lay down with me? Please." I really didn't want to be alone not right now.

My dad easily picked me up and laid on the bed with me. Since I was in the corner of my room when my dad came in, for some reason corners felt safe to me. He put me under the covers and he stayed on top of them. I laid my head on his chest trying to close my eyes but every time I did all I saw was Tim. Hours must have gone passed and my dad had not left the room once. A knock on the door made me grip my dad's shirt.

"Yeah?" My dad's voice filled the room.

"The boys and I are going to go. Call if you guys need anything and good night, Catalina." Alexander said.

"Goodnight." My voice was horse.

Bikes roared to life outside and then it was silent. My dad adjusted himself so he was facing me and his eyes scanned my face. "Close your eyes baby and get some sleep. I'll still be here when you wake up."

"No," he gave a small laugh.

"Not this again. Would you like Monster on the bed too? Will that help?"

"No,"

I felt my dad finger run along the bridge of my nose instantly relaxing me. I remember when I was little girl he used to do this to me until I fell asleep. "That's not going to work daddy. Not this time."

"I know but it was worth a try."

He was right it I did relax me a little bit but as we laid here my wondered to Bo. When I first saw him I forgot how to breathe and my heart started to beat really fast. God, he was sexy! I got scared that I thought he was sexy because I haven't thought about anyone that way since Jake. He turned around taking my virginity and leaving me for Clary. But there was something about Bo that pulled me to him.

"Hey dad, is Bo a nice guy?"

He pulled away from me a bit and scanned my face. "Why do you want to know? You guys met I take it."

"Well, Monster took my bear and when I went to go get it he and his friend Cam walked in." He made a humming sound before answering.

"He's a good kid. Quarterback to the football team and has a good head on his shoulders." Once again he started to run his finger down the bridge of my nose again. "Do you like him?"

I bubble of laughter left me as I looked up at him. "Dad, I just met him today and it was just a, hi I'm Catalina nice to meet you but you're a guy so I'm going to go hide in my room now."

My dad started laughing pulling me into a hug. "You didn't have to go into detail baby. A simple no would have been fine."

After our little conversation, I was finally able to close my eyes and this time. I didn't see Tim. But it scared me that I saw Bo. I couldn't understand why I was wrapped up in him! He was just a guy.