Hardest Love

31.

"Good luck, you'll do great" I had my arms wrapped around Charles' neck. I kissed his cheek softly. He was nervous, which was understandable.
He got into his car and drove to the grid.
I was standing with my crew in the Ferrari garage. Even though a lot of drivers lived in Monaco, Charles definitely was the star here. Everyone wanted him to win.

He was doing so well until his team fucked his race up. He didn't even end up on the podium.
I could only imagine how mad and disappointed he must be.
He didn't even look at me when he walked in the garage. He just walked straight passed me.
I decided to let him cool down a bit.
I took my crew to the podium ceremony and the interviews.

After all that I walked to his hospitality. He was sitting in front of it, alone. No one really dared to talk to him.
I walked up to him, I was ready to just hug him and comfort him but he looked up at me. "I guess you have some good footage out of that?" He chuckled as he shook his head. "Excuse me?" Where was all of this coming from? "Whatever Avery, just leave me alone please" I was kinda speechless, I didn't recognize him like this but I just did what he asked.
I turned around and walked away. I totally understood that he wanted to be alone, but he acted like I was happy this happened which wasn't the case at all.

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I was sitting on a bench close to the water. I was just looking at the boats, enjoying the silence after a weekend filled with noise.
"What are you doing here?" I quickly looked behind me. It was Lando. I shrugged my shoulders. "Thinking, looking at the water" I said. He pointed next to me. "You wanna be alone or can I sit with you?" I moved a little to the side. "Sure you can sit with me. What are you doing here?" He sat down next to me and looked at the water. "I come here to think about stuff too" I guess we both picked the same spot.

We both sat next to each other, we were both enjoying the silence.
"Is there a reason why you're so afraid to open up to someone?" He looked at me as he quickly licked the corners of his lips.
He was nervous, probably because he didn't know how I was gonna react.
I guess I owed him an explanation. I had to be honest, he deserved that. I sighed a little, this wasn't gonna be easy.
"I never met my dad. It was only my sister, my mom and I. A year ago, my mom got really really sick. I took care of her but she died a couple of months before I started this job" it was the first time I actually told someone. Scott and Millie obviously knew but no one else.
"I've been searching for a way to numb this pain, probably in all the wrong places" I shook my head as I looked down. "I am just scared to let someone in my life because I am scared to lose them too. It's safer to not get attached to someone. I just don't think I can handle another loss like that" I looked at Lando, he was looking at me, he probably didn't expect all this.
He put his hand on my cheek and wiped a tear from the side of my cheek.
"I am so sorry" he said and pulled me in his arms. I put my head against his chest.
My tears were falling on his shirt, but it honestly felt so good to let my feeling out, I tried to keep them inside for so long, too long.
His hand brushed through my hair and he kissed the top of my head softly.
I was happy he didn't ask any questions, I told him everything I wanted to say for now and he respected that.

After a couple of hours of talking about everything and anything we both decided to go back.
"Are you going to Charles?" He asked as we were walking back. I shook my head. "No he wanted to be alone" he just nodded, he didn't question anything.
He walked me to my hotel. He sighed a little as he looked at me.
"You deserve to be happy Avery and I can see how happy Charles makes you, even though it's definitely killing me" he chuckled a little.
"I hope we still can be friends though" he continued. I nodded. "We have a whole list to finish though" It made him smile a little.
We hugged before saying our goodbyes.

I couldn't even remember the last time I opened up like that. He just listened to me, which was exactly what I needed.
I was lucky to have him in my life.