Chess Pieces Aftermath: Lucius D'Angelo

Chapter 4

It took a long time before Hunter finally managed to find Gray. The kid did a really good job hiding. Ayaw talagang magpahanap pero hindi rin naman sumuko si Hunter at nahanap na rin sa wakas ang kapatid.

We didn't have any idea what happened to Gray. After the game ended, nawalan na kami ng balita sa kanya matapos magpaalam na magbabakasyon pero hindi naman nagparamdam. We were all worried about him and we hoped that he was doing okay wherever he was.

But as we listened to Reyziel, Gray's girlfriend, telling us about his condition, I realized that even after the game ended, we were still not free from it. We couldn't avoid the aftermath of the game.

I balled my fist, trying to suppress my anger. How long will we all need to suffer before we can live normally? Before we can all live freely? How long will it take before all of us can finally enjoy... living our lives?

I took a deep breath and exhaled harshly. I looked at Hunter. The poor guy looked devastated. I know he did his best for his family and yet it seemed like it wasn't enough.

Bumaling ang tingin ko sa katabi n'ya. I wasn't surprised when I saw Ishtar looking at me. There was hope in her eyes when our gaze met.

Ramdam ko namang kanina n'ya pa ako tinitingnan, kahit habang nakikipag-usap s'ya. But I refused to meet her gaze. I couldn't even look at her anymore.

So, I looked down as I balled my fists again. Humigpit ang pagkakayukom ko sa mga kamao. I wanted to feel the pain as my nails dug onto my skin. But it wasn't enough. It took me a lot of restraint as I stopped myself from punching the table in front of me.

Fuck... I suddenly felt suffocated. Hindi ako makahinga. I wanted to get out of this place to escape. My chest tightened and I found it so hard to breathe.

Still, I remained on my seat. Pinilit ko ang sarili ko kahit ang gustong-gusto kong gawin ay lumabas na sa kwartong 'yon.

Seeing Ishtar always reminded me of these horrible feelings. Of Angela's death. Of how innocent Angela was and yet... And yet she died helplessly. And I wasn't able to do anything for her.

"Are you alright?" Loki asked me when we finally left the room. Pero hindi pa rin nawawala ang paninikip ng dibdib ko.

I looked behind him and saw that the door was closed. Mukhang naiwan sina Eresh at Reyziel sa loob.

"Yeah..." I said. Tumingin ako kay Loki. "Yeah. I'm okay."

He just stared at me. I know he could see the lies in my eyes. This guy's so damn good at reading people. That's why it was easy for him to manipulate them as well.

I smirked. Nakikita ko sa mga mata n'yang hindi s'ya naniniwala sa sinagot ko. I chuckled as I shook my head.

"Do me a favor and spare me of that look, will you?"

He sighed.

"I'm just truly worried about you, Lucius."

Mapait akong napangisi.

I know. I'm fucking aware of it. I fucking know that all of them were worried about me. They constantly checked on me as if thinking I might do something stupid out of grief.

And I will admit, I already thought a lot of times about ending my grief. Pero wala akong karapatang gawin 'yon. Wala akong karapatang maging masaya. Wala akong karapatang humiling na maging masaya sana ako.

I should suffer. I should bear the consequences of what happened to Angela. To the innocent life that ended because of me. Dahil kung hindi ko s'ya nakilala, kung hindi ko s'ya minahal, baka masaya pa rin sana s'yang nabubuhay ngayon.