Hɪs ꜰᴏʀᴇᴠᴇʀ ʟᴏᴠᴇ (ʀᴀꜰᴇ ᴄ.)

cнapтer 11

cнapтer eleven
нιѕ ғorever love
ғιrѕт perѕon-raғe

       I SAT BACK AND JUST listened as my dad, or ward spoke to the cops. my mind was only focused on the fact i saw my princess again and she's alive. And safe, hopefully.

she seemed safe, happy too. That boy though, somethings up with him that i don't like. why is he with my girl? she's suppose to be with me, not him. i saw how he looked at her, i'm not okay with that.

elliott's mine, not his. i have to do something about that, he can't have her.

"i'm very, very grateful. i appreciate you guys. thank you so much, thank you" i heard ward speak, his voice is annoying, why is he so damn annoying?

i just stared straight ahead as he approached, he isn't worth my time, my time should only be spent with my girl.

"that's unbelievable. it's there. it's all there" he was talking about the gold that we took back from the pogues. the truck of it, it's ours now.

"as far as i can tell, the golds all there." he's still talking to me, get him away. he was laughing, why was he laughing? can he not tell i'm upset. i'm sitting right here. can he be a dad for once?

"oh my god" ward smiled, "they say we can go in just a second here. i'm gonna fly it out in the morning, until then, it's in the capable hands of the bahamian police department" he was still laughing

i may not get along with the pogues but they found it fair and square. that gold is elliott's, well elliott's friends. he's so wrong for taking what isn't his. does he not realize he's also ruining his and sarah's relationship from all this? the only person who matters to him?

i couldn't look at him, i could feel his eyes on the side of my head. "rafe i know you're upset. i know you're feeling bad, but you don't have to okay? i know you didn't mean to hurt her" i'm not talking about sarah. in my mind it's all about how and when i get to be with my princess again, my girl. she's mine and i can't even stay with her for more than 5 minutes without people interrupting. im not sorry i shot sarah, well kind of. im sick of this piece of shit next to me who won't shut the fuck up.

"all right? they said that they've checked the hospitals. they checked the morgue. there's been nothing" i don't feel bad dad. i feel bad i can't give her what she wants. im sorry i can't love elliott without a problem occurring.

why did i make the fucking stupid bet? am i that big of an idiot?

"she'll come back to us" he told me, looking away. the only one i want back is my girl.

"what if im not okay?" i had courage, i need help, i need elliott, i need someone to see im in need of help. it's too much.

ward just stared at me, why am i telling him this? he could care less. "what? im sorry"

i sighed, "im not okay-" i was cut off

"you are. you're okay buddy" why is he telling me how IM feeling. i didn't know he could read my mind.

"no dad im not okay, i miss her" why is he still talking over me?

"we'll go back, get a good nights sleep. we'll get a steak or something" he doesn't know how i feel.

"you're gonna feel completely different in the morning, i know you will." is he fucking dumb? i've been feeling like shit since eli left and all i've felt is loneliness. she's my happiness

"dad, i thought i was okay, but im not" i put my head in my hands, is it okay to cry?

"get control. get control of yourself." what a dad he is being right now.

"i just keep—i keep having these...um...these thoughts in my head, and i don't...i don't know if i can control them" i stood up, pacing, will he listen to me?

"and im just...im afraid of what's gonna happen" will my thoughts make he hurt my girl? what if i hurt her? i can't do that.

"i don't know how much of this shit i can take okay?" it's too much

"we'll talk about it.."

"i'm just afraid." he's not listening, why isn't he, i'm struggling, why can't my dad help?

"we'll go back and talk about it at the house" no we won't. he doesn't care about me, why am i trying?

"i need help okay? not her" the police were watching us

"i need it okay?" he's not listening one bit

"i know. i know. we can talk about it" ward continued

"you're not listening. i'm having a hard time right now." i felt like crying, is this normal? my emotions are getting the best of me and i don't know what to do.

"you need to man up. you need—look at me" you need to man up. that isn't what a father says to his son, what kind of father is he to think saying i need to man up is the right way to deal with my issues. i'm so fucked up i can't think, i need my girl back.

she's my happiness, i want my person. i need her, i need those hugs, i need to see her. why can't life just be on my side.

"man up. right now" fuck my dad. "thank you" and he lets go of my face, turning away from me. that's what i get for trying.

"he's good, he's just a little..it's been crazy" ward started talking to the police, all do them still watching.

"he was..he was out there on the road when the whole thing happened, so he's just a little freaked out. but he will be okay, again i wanna thank you guys, all right?" what a fucked up dad

he started walking back to me. "i miss her, she's all i think about" i say as he passes me, he stops, turns back to me.

"what?"

"she's all i think about and i miss her. so much.  she's all my mind thinks about and she's constantly running though my brain." i turn to him, tears in my eyes.

"rafe your mom died years ago, move on"

"you don't get it dad! this isn't about mom, i love someone!" i shout, he shook his head and laughed, "very funny rafe." and he turned back and walked away.

is it hard to believe i have a heart for some people? why doesn't anyone believe in me?

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aυтнorѕ noтe
rafes side while eli runs away from the bahamas. babies will be back together soon thank god. missing kie and jj and pope right now