I Love You

First real interactions with him

My name is Bella. I am 16 years old.It's 5 pm and I just came home from high school. I immediatly ran upstairs and slammed my door. Somehow I feel pity for my mom because she has no clue why I act so rebellious. Usually, I do not act like this. That is not me. I throw my backpack in the corner and sit withdrawn on the cold floor since my bed is way too messy. Not only my bed. My whole room is not really inviting. Even that is not me. I think. I am usually very orderly. While sitting on the floor I check the photos on my phone. Plenty of 'em are photos that I take from my crush. Not that it is in a weird stalker way. It's just that I don't want to forget him since I only know him from the bus stop. We never spoke. Sometimes we had eye contact which lasted only for about 2 seconds 'cause I don't do eye contact with people I find attractive. He is really tall. Even next to me and I am really not that small. His face is actually shaped like Brad Pitt's face. His hair is brown. It harmonises with his pale skin. And his eyes seem to be bright. Something between brown and maybe green. Overall, his facial expression is so attractive and warm. He only wears basic blue jeans and a black jacket. And even that is enough. Other boys have a cool style and still not look that handsome. Sometimes I see him with a couple of friends. Thus, I try to figure out his name while they speak since I do not know anything about him. I could just maybe tell that he is in my age or maybe one or two years older than me. I sit on the floor and am really out of breath. My heart is beating so fast. 

When I walked home, I saw him walking in front of me the same way. Again, I took some photos of him but it was not really easy since today it's very sunny and the sunbeams reflected on the camera. When I tilted the phone up to take a picture of him, he turned towards me. First, I didn't notice it since I could hardly open my eyes which was really stupid. Then a huge green tree made a shadow and I saw him looking at me with a confused expression. I abruptly pulled my phone into my back pocket. My face prolly turned red which was very visible since my skin is pretty pale. I kinda freezed and held automatically eye contact for a few more seconds. It was pretty intense. Unfortunately, not in a good way, I guess. Suddenly, he just kept walking and did not say a word. I was happy about that somehow. I turned onto another street and took a detour so I could run home quickly without having to see him. 

And now I am here. I stand up and and look out of the window. Suddenly, I see him again. He does not seem to look up to my window which is why I stare at him and begin to dream a little bit about him. I would really love to speak to him but now I am prolly the weird girl that took a picture of him. While staring at him I need to move a little since he walks away from my sight.Then my mom enters suddenly the room. She says: "I cooked your favourite meal. Please come down. Whatever it is we can speak about it downstairs". I told her that I would be in the kitchen as soon as I have changed. Thus, she leaves. I change and think about possible excuses but I really don't know why I made such a scene after having that "interaction" with that boy. He is a boy I don't even know. It is impossible that I fell for him.

Downstairs I tell my mom that I hurried because of an eBay auction. I bid 20$ for a necklace and only in my room I have WIFI which works for auctions, I tell her. My mom is a pretty naive person which is why she thinks it's true. I have to say that I never take advantage of her trait on somebody's or even her expenses. It was just not necessary to tell her what happened. We eat and have the usual conversation after school, like "How was school?". After dinner, I go upstairs and check Instagram. Many girls from school post themselves partying. I am not really into parties and drinking. I prefer Netflix. The day ends with Netflix. 

In the next morning I see him again at the bus station. As always he looks handsome. I look at my reflection in the glas of the bus stop to make sure that I look good. I see my big green eyes and my lips which are strongly defined with a dark pink lipliner. My hair sits. It's straight and dark blond. And my forehead is big but I think it's cute. I am very happy with my today's look which is why I seek eye contact with him. When entering the full bus I stand directly next to him since there is no room. It's the first time that I can smell him. He smells very masculine. It's a nice perfume. It is so warm in the bus since it's summer and many people are sweating. My face prolly turned red again because of the temperature. Thus, I pull my water bottle out of the pocket. After taking some sips I put my bottle back into the backpack. Suddenly, the bus stops. I literally fall in his direction. He was anyway turned towards me which is why he intrinsically rescues me from falling by opening his arms. Now, I am really in his arms. Being in his arms is a warm feeling of security. I have to admit that I like being in his arms but not because of that. Again, I am a little embarrassed. Since the bus kept riding, I can stand again without his help. I say "Thank you so much." He smiles while looking down to me and answers "You are welcome." We both get off the bus at the same station. Somehow, we even walk the exactly same way. Maybe he goes to the same high school. I see him the first time here, maybe it's because of how big the high school is. He obviously notices how I walk the same way. He turns to me with a smiling face since he walks in front of me. I smile back without really knowing why he would smile to me. It's such a new feeling to me to see him looking directly to me and literally smiling. I got used to seeing him being busy with something. I cannot really describe that feeling. His smile is so handsome and warm. That is the first time of a real interaction between the two of us. Inwardly, I feel like, finally!!! 

Suddenly, he says with a soft and quiet voice "Hi" while walking  and stops so that I could reach him. I see how his eyes smile.