Hold My Hand || J.Seresin

Chapter 8

The sound of a window opening pulled me out of sleep; not in a bad way, but more in the way of my brain being more aware and pushing me into consciousness. Jake was in front of the window, in just a pair of boxers.
"There's a nice breeze out. Why'd we close it last night?" He asked, slipping on his pants.
"It's more cautious, you never know who's walking around outside and could look in." I responded, trying not to give away the real reason. Jake and Bradley didn't get along, and I didn't want to add more fuel to that fire.
"Sounds like you know from experience." Jake was about to continue speaking, when there was a knock on the door. He started walking to the door, but I quickly got out of bed, pulling on a robe from the nearby chair.
"It's my house, I'll answer." I told him, leaving my bedroom. I hurried to the door and looked through the peephole. Ducking down almost immediately, I placed my hand over my mouth, hoping he hadn't heard anything.

My feet lightly tapped the ground as I practically ran back to my bedroom.
"It's my dad." I told Jake. Luckily, he was mostly dressed. "Go through the window and through the neighbor's backyard. They're not home and they left me a key to water the plants, so the gate is unlocked. Then you can cut up to the main street." My body was moving without me even realizing it. My dad hadn't been to my house in years and I didn't want there to be anything that might suggest someone else was staying here.
"Seriously?" Jake asked, watching me speed walk around the room. I paused in my rush and turned to look at him,
"It's either that or you can explain to my dad what you're doing at my house at seven in the morning." For a moment, fear flashed over Jake's eyes. He grabbed the few belongings he had and walked towards me quickly,
"Right." His lips brushed against mine for a brief moment, and then he was heading back towards the open window, "I'll see you later." He grinned before climbing out.

I gave my room another quick glance, everything looked mostly in place, before proceeding to the door.
"Daddy, hi." I said sweetly, opening the door enough for him to step inside my house.
"The place looks nice." He said by way of greeting, looking over the living room and kitchen.
"What's going on?" I asked, shifting slightly. My nerves hadn't fully died down. Nothing looked out of place, but I still didn't want my dad to see anything that might give away who I was with. It definitely wasn't the way I'd want to tell him, if I did end up telling him at some point.
"A father can't just visit his daughter," he questioned, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket.
"I think you and I both know this isn't a normal visit." I stepped around my dad and began walking down the hallway to my room. My robe was a decent cover, but I'd feel better with more clothes on. I shut the door before he could enter, quickly slipping on my work pants and a white tank that would be my undershirt.
"Figured we should clear the air. We should have finished it yesterday, so I apologize for walking out." Since the incident with Bradley, my dad had gotten better at acknowledging his role in disagreements, at least with me, so I appreciated his words. I wasn't going to apologize any further for my actions. I did what I had to in order to stay sane. My dad leaned against the doorframe,
"Your room's a mess, Lila." He said in the dad voice he rarely used. I followed his gaze, seeing he was partially right. The "mess" he referred to was the scattered clothes and the unmade bed. My eyes caught on a nameplate lying on the ground; it wasn't mine though.

Casually, I walked towards my bed and began straightening it out. I "accidently" dropped a few things to cover the nameplate and then bent down to pick the pile up. I don't think my dad had seen it.
"I wasn't expecting company." I joked, "You're here kinda early, it pulled me out of my normal routine." My dad's posture changed slightly, and I knew he was trying to prepare himself for this conversation.
"Want some coffee?" I asked, leading him out of my bedroom. I caught his eye and saw him nod. Maybe space would make him feel more comfortable to start the conversation.
"I talked to Ice," he started, "and I know I shouldn't have gotten upset with you. And I shouldn't have asked you to stop, that wasn't fair of me."
"It's been a long time waiting to hear that." I admitted, sliding a full coffee cup over to him. "You do have this tendency to stand in the way of others' careers." My dad looked taken aback by my words.
"Lila," he started, but I cut him off. This was a conversation we should have had years ago.
"I know what you did, after my accident. I know you're the reason I'm still in North Island."
"Lila," he tried to cut in again, but I had to say my peace,
"Well, I guess technically you had Uncle Ice do it. He put in the official order transferring me permanently to Fightertown. Did you really think I wouldn't find out?" I wanted his explanation, so I waited for him to talk.
"I know now that I shouldn't have done that. I know it doesn't change anything, but I let my fatherly need to protect you overtake what was outside my naval position to do."
"You're right, it doesn't change anything." I let out a long breath, "I do love my job here, but there are times when I wish I could be out flying on missions with the rest of my peers."
"Lila," My dad started and I could hear the plea in his voice.
"There's no point in dwelling on the past, or regretting anything. It can't be changed, so I've accepted it."
"Is that why you started testing the planes?"
"I meant what I said yesterday; I did need to know if I could stay in the Navy. But once I was up there, I felt this relief. Uncle Ice was happy to continue issuing the orders for the jet tests."
"And he didn't tell me." My dad responded, realizing.
"I knew what he'd done at your request. The least he could was not tell you. My old squadron had already moved on, and I didn't want him to pull strings to get me into another one. It was the least he could do." I answered honestly.

The sting of my father and Uncle Ice's actions had affected me for weeks. Two people who claimed to care about me had completely altered my life, and didn't even tell me until cornered. With Iceman being such a close family friend, he could have gotten me back in the air, but I knew word would spread about what he did and I didn't want anyone to think I was getting special treatment.
"Are we okay?" My dad asked.
"Yeah. But you do anything like that again, and we won't be."
"Understood." He responded, taking a sip of coffee. "I also wanted your professional opinion on the aviators for this mission."
"Really?" I questioned.
"You know these pilots better than I do. Who do you think can handle this?" My dad had never asked me something like this before. It was an olive branch - getting my professional opinion for one of his missions.
"Phoenix." I responded, "She's a great pilot. Reliable, smart, calm and confident in stressful situations. Works well with others." My dad nodded in agreement, waiting to hear more.
"Hangman, as well. He's the only aviator on active duty with a confirmed air to air kill. He's cocky though and he doesn't play well with others, but if you can get him to be a team player, he'd do well." I paused briefly, "If you tell him any of this, we'll have a problem." I threatened. He chuckled, but I meant it. If Jake found out, he'd never let me live it down in private and he'd make sure to talk about it in public with anyone who'd listen.
"What about Rooster?" He asked.
"Strong, reliable, dependable. I do think he needs a confidence boost and he could do with less thinking in the air."
"Do you think he's ready?" This question was starting to lean into the territory of putting me in the middle, and after the way Bradley got mad at me, I didn't want that.
"Dad, you're the only one who has doubted him. It's not really for me to say though if he's ready or not. You're the instructor for this mission, you have to be the one to decide."