𝒯𝑜 𝒩𝑒𝓌 𝐵𝑒𝑔𝒾𝓃𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈

December 19th, 1993

"When the dementors are near, I can hear my mum and dad... the night they died. It is all I have of them, the only time I can hear their voices at all." His voice was barely a whisper.

"That boggart was the first time I had seen my father in person, in front of me since he died," she nodded as Harry glanced her way, "Granger was right. My boggart was him."

She sighed, "Just not in the way you all think. My father loved me dearly... he did his best with me. He would never have hurt me. Ever. He gave me nothing but unconditional love.... That boggart appeared as it did because of the look it had in its eyes.

"Disappointment, disgust... regret. My father died so I could live, and all I did was hide and run away. And I am still running, there are people that think I am dead because the day my father died... I ran. And am still hiding from the responsibilities that fell to me the second his heart stopped....

"He died for me, and I am nothing but a coward... he shouldn't have died that night. It should have been...."

The final word was lost in her throat, failing to come out, but it didn't need to be said. And it was better left unsaid, better pushed back and banished to the deepest parts of her brain, never to be even thought of again.

Yet another beat of silence settled between the two.

Dragging out as the pair settled back to their own minds.

Forcing a smile, Iris dryly laughed, "What a screwed up pair we make."

~~~~~~

Hogwarts was abnormally large for the number of people that really resided within the castle. It had its moments where a hall wouldn't seem large enough, and when the dorms were in much need of extra bathrooms... but with a castle so large, grounds so vast... Hogwarts, for the most part, felt empty.

And that emptiness only grew more drastic when the train departed for the Christmas holiday. Upon it, nearly all of the student body and half the staff.

Left behind were so few that Iris found herself alone in the Slytherin dormitories, but even she was rarely ever there. She was always off and about somewhere, taking full advantage of the solitude she was granted for the Holiday. Whether wandering the halls, out in the courtyard drawing, off on the grounds for a walk, or sneaking off to the forest... Iris really just used the dorms for sleeping. After all, Sally-Ann had taken her radio with her.

The solitude was Iris's friend. She had known it for so long before finding herself at Hogwarts that a few days of it was familiar, if nothing else. Not comforting, familiar. Good or bad was undecided and unimportant.

And besides, despite the emptiness of the large castle, Iris still found herself running into Harry Potter and his two friends... running into Hermione Granger, quite a bit more than she would have preferred. Because where there is one... the others are just a few steps behind.

Except for those rare moments. And one day over break, Iris did catch one of those rare moments.

The ground had been covered by a fresh coat of snow, and the sun was still hidden behind the clouds. So, filling a bag with a few much-needed supplies and having spent time by the lake collecting rocks and sticks, she set up right outside the castle and got to work.

She was halfway through rolling the bottom part when two of the infamous trio came bounding outside, Ronald Weasley grumbling about something as Harry listened.

Harry was the one to stop, his friend taking a few extra steps as he was lost in his rant. As blunt as always, Harry simply asked, "What are you doing?"