𝙵𝙾𝚁𝙶𝙴𝚃 𝙷𝙴𝚁࿐ ྂ ᴊᴇꜰꜰ ʙᴜᴄᴋʟᴇʏ

ᴇɪɢʜᴛᴇᴇɴ

APRIL 26th, 1991
NEW YORK CITY.ೃ࿐

JEFF STOOD FROM POLLYS BED,
yawning as he shrugged on a plain black shirt. Today was the concert- greetings from Tim Buckley. His stomach turned over thinking about it, not out of nerves, out of confusion as to why he'd agreed to play.

He scolded himself in his mind over and over as he pulled on a pair of old jeans and made his way downstairs.

Polly was sat on the couch, slouched over the Fender, now with an old amp. Courtesy of Jeff for her twenty-third birthday.

The sight of her playing songs he'd taught her made Jeff push aside his spiraling thoughts about the concert, instead admiring her happily.

"Good morning," she glanced up from the guitar and to Jeff. She set the guitar down and kissed his cheek once, "are you worried?"

"No." He said matter of factly.

"Its fine to be." She shrugged. "I think I would be."

"That makes me feel great," he said in a barely audible mumble.

Polly poured the two coffee, sitting at the small table. "I could've made a sign. Had shirts made or something."

He smiled, "it's not too late."

"You're happy?"

"About this?" He thought, "it feels weird. I don't sing like him, I didn't know him. I didn't even go to his funeral." Jeff hid the waver in his voice.

"Maybe it'll be good?"

He shrugged, sipping his coffee quietly. "But I'm happy. Happy I'm here again." He gestured around the room.

The rest of the morning was quiet, mostly Jeff rehearsing his four songs, even though he had them perfected ages ago.

As they walked to the cathedral, Jeff focused on the lively trees in various parks, no longer frail as they were in winter. Next, he focused on the patterns on the sidewalk, twisting and weaving under his sole.

But soon the sidewalk turned to the stone floors of St. Ann's and Jeff found himself guitar in hand in the cramped backstage area, waiting for his name to be called.

All these people who sat in the pews with their eyes glued to the small stage had came here to watch and listen music his father had written over twenty years prior. It was an odd feeling- one he wished he could shrug off.

But he couldn't, the feeling weighed down on his shoulders as he walked onto the stage, not lifting until he strummed the first chords.

Jeff felt as if he was struggling to hold together little pieces of his heart and mind, and not just because of this set he performed. He'd always felt that, halfway to a breakdown and halfway to happiness.

But the music he played, that he listened to, that he loved had always pulled him out of that empty half-space he so often resided in.

Polly watched him, eyes unable to avert from her lover. It seemed Jeff had the rooms undivided attention, they all wondered where a talent like that could've been, where he had came from.

He was humble and captivating, seemingly unaware of the perfection which was his voice.

Polly asked herself how she could be so lucky, how a man like that could love a woman like her. She didn't know how many times she'd wondered that, but knew there would never be a good answer.

Jeff was simply too good to be true.

"And sometimes I wonder, just for a while, will you remember me."

He sung the last few words of once I was without his guitar, having had a string break. At the end, he spoke a small 'thank you,' to the crowd as his voice wavered, the words almost drowned out by the loud applause.

Polly made her way to the backstage, ignoring the few eyes that followed her.

Jeff sat, a few people by surrounding and congratulating him on his set. Polly waited for them to clear, and she made her way to him.

He stood and she wrapped him in an embrace, "I know you just heard it a million times- but you did so great. Really it was beautiful."

"Thank you." A small smile formed on his face, Polly's words meaning more than anyone else's could. His cheeks were wet with the few tears he'd shed, overwhelmed with the whole situation. "I wish we could leave." He glanced down at the floor, not wanting to exchange anymore pleasantries or receive anymore business cards.

"Can't we leave?" Polly asked, wanting nothing more than to return to her warm apartment, head up to her bedroom with Jeff.

"Yeah, fuck this."

They left the church, his arm wrapped around her shoulder as they quickly made their way to her place.

Polly beckoned Jeff to join her on the bed. He quickly wrapped his arms around her playfully. "I think that was good. For me, y'know?"

"I know. You don't wanna hear it again but I loved watching you."

"Good. Your approval is really the only one that matters." She looked away at his words, feeling herself blush.

She was blushing.

Polly was silent for a bit, trying to think how to articulate what was going through her mind. "I don't know what you do to me." She told him quietly, her voice soft.

"In a good way right?" He asked, she averted his piercing brown stare.

"The best way."

The pair laid back on her bed, letting the cool air wash over them as Polly rested her head on Jeff's chest, letting his heartbeat calm every thought swirling in her head about what the future would bring- mainly what Jeff's would bring.

The concert was just a confirmation of the life he was destined to have. The life of a musician, not resting until months of touring ended, never truly settling.

He didn't wish for fame by any means. Although he knew that's what he had to do. Make music. Like the concert was a confirmation for Polly, it was the same thing for Jeff.

He hadn't realized how much he'd missed playing live. That wasn't exactly how he'd wanted his reintroduction to live music to be like, but still it was reminiscent of his years in LA playing every gig he got the chance to play.

Jeff knew in the future there'd be decisions he'd make, affecting the girl who rested so sweetly on his chest. That was a bond he didn't want to give up, but she'd understand when the time came.

She would have to.

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