𝙵𝙾𝚁𝙶𝙴𝚃 𝙷𝙴𝚁࿐ ྂ ᴊᴇꜰꜰ ʙᴜᴄᴋʟᴇʏ

ɴɪɴᴇ

MAY 2nd, 1990
NYC .ೃ࿐

POLLY HAD TAKEN MORE HOURS AT CORNELIAS,

the extra time she spent working included Saturday nights. So there no longer were the irregular Sin-E piano visits where she garnered small tips from the passerby's.

Along with more work hours, she had signed up for classes at Tisch. The workload was painfully tiring, but in her mind worth it.

The days passed by quickly, and soon Jeff and Polly would be together for a month. A small milestone of course, but a rare one for Polly.

Despite things looking up, with a man like Jeff who was hers and the opportunity to pursue what she always wanted, late at night when she sat alone in her bed or behind a cash register there was a feeling that nagged at Polly's mind.

She didn't feel deserving of all these things, of Jeff. She knew that she couldn't ever be good for him, and it hurt.

So she knew that it was better to tell him that before things were serious. Before things changed from a childish love to something permanent.

Jeff lit his cigarette with his zippo as he walked down the sidewalk of East Twelfth. He walked up the stairs to Polly's floor, throwing his cigarette butt down a trash chute before knocking.

He noticed her eyes, they looked the way they did when he'd first met her. Tired. Dark circles contrasted with her soft blue eyes as she looked up at him. She hugged him tightly, and he shut the door behind them, her arms still around his neck.

"Jeff," she drew back from the hug, happy to see the man she'd seen so little of in recent days.

"I've barely seen you," he said, smiling.

She looked down to the floor, feeling immense guilt for that. "I know, I've just been stressed... and busy." She folded her arms over her chest as if that would protect her from the feeling of dread about what she knew she had to do.

It had only been a month, so really it wouldn't be breaking up. Just not being together.

"Are you alright, Polly?" Jeff asked, only making her feel less deserving of his gentle nature and affection.

"I'm just tired," she said simply, smiling softly.

She thought what was wrong with her for feeling this terrible over breaking off the mere beginning of a relationship.

The answer was obvious- Jeff. If it wasn't Jeff, there probably wouldn't have been a relationship anyways.

"If you want someone to listen, I can." He stated, brown eyes staring down to her.

"I don't think that... I should be in this with you," she said, voice low as she gestured between them.

With you, Jeff repeated in his mind. She didn't want to be with him.

"Okay." He finally said. There were a bunch of reasons in his mind why Polly didn't want a relationship, and it made sense.

But Jeff really didn't give a fuck about those reasons.