The Obscure Downsides of Fame (New Edition)

41 || flustered

"I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to answer me honestly," he said. I nodded as much as his hands squishing my face would allow. "Is there any possibility you could be high right now?"

I rolled my eyes, removing my hand from his face.

"High on fucking life if that's what you're onto."

"Okay," he said, nodding as he pulled his lips into a tight line. "Is there any other reason I should be worried?"

"I'm fine," I assured him. I really was. "I know what I said last night was fucked up, and I'm really sorry about that. But I really do think your anxiety makes you overthink this." I pressed a kiss to his lips before tearing myself away from him.

It was like whenever I looked at him, the world stopped spinning. He was the center of my universe.

"You taste like seawater," he said.

"You taste like morning breath."

His serious expression had relaxed, now pulled into a lopsided smile.

"Maybe we should take a shower," he suggested, his eyes tearing away from mine, and I felt the skin on my face heat up. It was like I'd forgotten I was barely dressed, and I'd instinctively wrapped my arms around my body.

"Don't look at me like that," I said. I couldn't shake the feeling that he'd finally find something to hate, and he'd leave. I knew he'd been in many more intimate situations than I had, and I didn't want him to like he was missing out on anything.

I knew a moment like last night would come. And it was okay. It was dark and my mind was buzzing from a series of sleepless nights. But now I was alert. I was hyper-conscious to the point where I could hear the low hum of electricity, and feel the air hitting my upper lip as I breathed out, and sense that Nolan wanted more than I could currently offer.

"But I love looking at you," he said.

Until you don't.

"Right," I said, not wanting to drag this conversation for any longer. I hated to disappoint him, so I closed my eyes, pretending I wasn't me. I wasn't Oakley leading the way to the bathroom, making Nolan grin like a child on Halloween.

•••

We had made it a regular thing. In the next few weeks, every little free period he had, we would spend at the beach house. Sometimes we went just to talk, sometimes we went swimming, or we'd spend the time being alone together cuddling up in silence.

I was grabbing my stuff for our nearly bi-weekly disappearance when my mom finally started to ask questions.

"Where do you keep disappearing to?"

I'd only gotten as far as to put my plate away and grab my backpack while the rest of my family was still seated at the dinner table.

"Nolan's," I said, and Trisha smirked as she made kissing gestures with her hands right behind my parents' back. I glared at her, but that only made her beam larger.

"You should invite him over sometime. You spend almost every week there," my dad said, getting up to clean up his plate now too.