𝕋𝕖𝕒𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕣'𝕤 𝕡𝕖𝕥 // Tengen Uzui x reader (+18)

Chapter 58 | Body and soul🍈

The last six months changed Tengen-san. He acts like a completely different person. At the same time he is not. It's just his true self. He never showed you this vulnerable and emotional side of him. Just as you didn't show yours. You wonder if he is surprised by your reaction, too.

Both of you stare at each other while silently shedding tears. None of you moves, none of you speaks. Tears you held back for all this time begin to make their ways out of your eyes. They tell stories and picture sceneries you can't pronounce yet.
A small, broken sound escapes your mouth and your eyes widen in shock and embarrassment. You don't want to cry. You don't want all this suppressed feelings to shine through. You don't want to be vulnerable.
However there's no way to stop it. You start shaking. Tengen-san steps forward with agony and remorse in his eyes. Sole tears still run down his cheeks. You hide your face behind your palms. To hide. You want to see Tengen-san's feelings and you don't want him to see you like that.
It doesn't stop him from acting.
You don't stop him.
Tengen-san's hand touches your arm and strokes higher to your shoulder in a comforting way. His touch immediately gets addictive and you regret wearing all the leathers. You want to feel him. Feel his very soul and body against yours. A kind of intimacy you never experienced.
You hear Tengen-san's breath as he gets closer and brushes his other hand over your other arm, too. He leaves a trail of longing on it. Where his fingers leave a spot on your arm and move on a lonely coldness crawls over it.
Still you hide your tears behind your hands. Still your eyes are closed.
Still no one talks.
When you don't complain about Tengen-san's touch he again gets closer. Only a few inches separate the two of you. Carefully, as if you were made of glass and could break under his touch, one of his hands slides over your shoulder and onto your back. The touch ignites hot sparks across your body. Tengen-san's other hand moves up your neck and into your hair. The tips of his fingers push gently against your head as he shoves his hand completely into your hair. Then he closes the gap between the two of you. The hand on your back pulls you against him. Your face and hands collide with the chest you always felt comfortable in. His scent fills your nostrils and your body reacts to it. Unintentionally you're calming down. One hand strokes over your back and the other scratches your head lightly. Tengen-san slowly puts his head on top of yours and squeezes you even closer into the hug.
Then the two of you just exist in silence.
Tengen-san keeps holding you in his arms while you keep weeping into your palms. Now and then you hear Tengen-san sniffle. Each time after doing so he presses his lips into your hair for a few seconds. You can feel the self hatred and need in them.
It's not a kiss. Tengen-san would ask for your approval.
Rather it's his way to tell you about his inner feelings. And how much he needs you.

You lose track of time.
Minutes could have passed; the sun could already be somewhere else.
You can't move. It's like your body is completely shutting down. Besides you want to stay. For the first time in six months you feel safe. Maybe that's the reason why your body starts to relax every muscle uncontrollably.
You stayed alerted all this time, went on missions when your body told you to take a break, hunted for poisons and antidotes in the few hours you had for sleep, worked for Aoki-san when your limbs were about to give in, slept in the wilderness just to release demons from their pain and mourned for your brother.
Neither your body nor your soul had had time to recover. Tengen-san knew it.

Your knees are giving in but you're not falling. Tengen-san holds you. Even though you're now hanging in his arms with your full body weight Tengen-san keeps holding you upright without so much as blinking. A column in your life. Moreover he keeps his hand busy on your back with lazy strokes. Finally you remove your hands from your face and press your cheek against Tengen-san's chest. His heartbeat thrums through your ear like a sweet lullaby. You could listen to it all day. Nothing had ever souned so peaceful. Your arms and hands get numb as if they were affected by the sound as well.
The warmth of Tengen-san's body stops your shaking in the end and you deeply inhale his scent. It causes your weeping to cease slowly.

"Y/n", Tengen-san breaks the silence and you open your eyes, "I can't detach from this."

Weren't you so exhausted you would be smiling now.
Tengen-san looks down on you but not in the way he once did. Now it's simply because he's taller than you. His eyes sparkle with hope that is so persistent you could grab it.
"Then don't", you reply.
Tengen-san smiles. It has never been easier to heal a cut in your heart.
You close your eyes again and shed your last tear.
And so you linger in Tengen-san's arms and his chin lingers on top of your head. By doing so you warm each other's bodies and souls in this empty room. Something both of you needed from each other.