GRIDLOCK - Lando Norris [BOOK 1]

28

We are about half way round the track, about to begin the windy stretch that goes past the Las Vegas Boulevard and make our way through turn 13.

So far, Lando has been able to instruct in clear and crisp detail about everything that is required of him in this track. He knows exactly what his job is. Unfortunately, the fear lies within the components he can't control.

As Lando suddenly halts and our hands disconnect from his abrupt stop, I turn back to look at him as he plonks himself on the ground. Straight on his back, arms and legs stretched out like a star.

"What are you doing?" I chuckle.

He shakes his head as his eyes remain closed. "I dunno, it just seems so peaceful. Normally you can hear the crowds and the engines and it's beautiful chaos. But right now, it's, it's just peaceful"

I gaze around whilst wrapping my arms tighter around my body, the time has been getting away from us as we stroll around the track, which means the cold night air settles in permanently.

Looking down at him whilst he remains unmoving from the floor, I'm taken back to when we were on the balcony of his in Belgium about 4 months ago, after I ended up in his apartment with Maddie.

Four months, doesn't seem like that long but it feels like an eternity has passed between us. And the dynamic between us has shifted into so many gears it's incredible.

"Well, are you going to join me down here?" He chuckles, opening one eye to peer up at me.

I roll my eyes in defeat, we'll always be in this place, stuck between situations.

I place myself down on the tarmac next to him, stretching out my arms by my sides and my legs. I can feel that the distance between our fingertips is only a fraction, the same gust of wind passes between them, brushing past, tickling either side. And it's like magnets the way which they fight to be drawn together.

I take a deep breath in and fill my lungs, but that's where it stays. My body refuses to allow me the satisfaction of breath as I feel the magnets give in. His index finger brushes so delicately across mine, as if so gentle to the touch, and sudden or excessive force will break it. I can feel the trembles of his nerves pulsating out the end of his fingertip as it hesitantly draws a path back and forth across my skin.

"Hey" he stutters.

My head falls to the direction of his voice, losing all its power to stay mutual. To hold my ground.

"Thankyou" he whispers as his body shuffles closer to mine as he rolls to face me. I mimic his movement, bringing our faces only inches apart.

Laying on your side, on a street, is not the comfiest place in the world, but given the circumstances, I could lay here forever.

I nod my head to his gratefulness but as his eyes dart down to my lips, I'm in unfamiliar territory. Territory that in the past, I've given into, a temptation that I've craved. But right now, with every single fibre of my being telling me to close the gap between us, I won't survive the outcome. I know I won't.

The aftermath is already written and the story will never change.

That much I know to be true.

I feel like there's been so much back and forth in regards to our 'relationship', that it's some vicious cycle.

"I'm struggling to understand" I mutter

The muscles in his forehead tighten in confusion.

"Just understanding, why," I break eye contact and stare straight up into the night sky, struggling to see the stars from how much city smog is around.

"Why the world brings two people together, who are never meant to be with each other" the magnet pulls me back to him as my head flops back in his direction at the end of my sentence.

He holds my gaze for a moment then turns his own attention to the sky, and I watch as my statements takes form in his mind.

We stay there in silence, just two people simply existing in our own worlds without being able to collide them. It's sad really, because I really do believe there is love there.

"I'm scared, Ev" he confesses.

I don't move, I don't shift a single movement in his vulnerability, in fear he will retract.

"I'm scared, that, I'm always going to be scared now" I can hear the echoing of his gulp as he lets down his walls to me.

"You're human, Lando, humans get afraid" I try and find the right words. Maybe not the literal, but the ones he needs right now. "Be afraid, be absolutely terrified, but do what you got to do anyway"

In my side view, I see him facing me, but I can't find the strength to look at him.

"You are one of the best drivers on that grid, you know it, and everyone else knows it. You chose this passion knowing at any point you could get hurt, but yet you do it anyway. You put in the risk because the reward is worth it."

"I can't sit here and tell you that you won't be hurt again, I can't. And someday, it might be something you can't come back from. But that chance happens in or out of that car. You're testing fate, you're dancing with death, but that's the purpose of being human"

I can't help the pull to look at him. And as soon as my eyes find his, my next statement may not be completely about racing.

"Sometimes it's worth risking being hurt again in order to feel that vulnerability again"

Truth is, I'm afraid too. I'm afraid that for me, Lando is it. That I will never feel the way I feel about him with anyone else. That I will never forget the way it felt to have him looking deeply at me, holding me, touching me. To feel his lips on mine and have his breath dance around me. That no matter how much time passes, I'll hang onto the "almost".

His head makes small nodding movements in agreement and turns his attention back to the stars. My eyes roam over him and I feel the cracks, that hope dripping that he caught on to my double meaning. That for him, the only risk worth taking is the one in the cockpit, the one on the track.