GRIDLOCK - Lando Norris [BOOK 1]

26

Due to flight delays and clashes, I didn't end up arriving in the United States until right before practise was about to begin. I've got my suitcase dragging along behind me as the driver drops me in the furthest part of the paddock. 

I know I've got about 10 minutes before the drivers will be heading to their garages and I kind of just want to see Lando before he goes out. He doesn't need me, he can do this without me, but based on what I know about Lando, he's the only one who knows he's feeling nervous about getting back in the car. Drivers aren't meant to feel fear. The moment they show any signs of fear, they are no longer a driver that the team can count on to drive on the limit. 

And driving on the limit and then pushing it further is what makes a good driver, great. 

As I make my way swiftly through the paddock, I try to dodge anyone that may want to strike up a conversation, I need to get to him. 

As I walk through the back of the garages, past the food fans, I'm keeping an eye out for 4 people. Charles, Johan, Lando, and Luisinha. 

Approaching the RedBull team lounge, I duck inside and place my suitcase just inside the door and head out again, the McLaren garage my destination. I throw my hair up into a quick loose ponytail and push my sunglasses up on top of my head. Tripping up on my feet as I come within viewing distance and I can see him suited up in his overalls. 

He has his back to me, but from where I'm standing, I can see the tension in his body. I conflict with myself as to whether I go up and talk to him, or just prayer that he will see me. 

As I get closer, I figured I can just go over and say hello. Keep the friendly nature between us alive and allow others to see that we are civil, but as I approach, a pair of arms wrap around his neck. The perfectly manicured fingers floating criss crossed behind him and the very sight of her is shown. 

It was expected, I know that, but I don't think it will ever get any easier to accept. 

She spots me as she pulls him in for a hug over his shoulder and her smile widens as she whispers something in Lando's ear, pulling his attention toward me. 

The look on his face shows that he never expected me to show up, and my body feels frozen underneath his gaze. I choose to nod slightly and wave and continue toward the RedBull garage. I pull my eyes from Lando's as quickly as I can, but can feel that his are still on me. 

I find Johan as soon as I enter the garage and take myself straight over to him and act as normal as possible. 

"Miss me?" I chip as I tackle him from behind and wrap my arms around him from behind. 

"About time, girl. We were wondering how long you could keep yourself away" he chuckles, turning in my hold and returning the embrace. 

"Mother would have my head if I missed the championship" I roll my eyes. 

"Yeah okay" he shoves my shoulder as we both know why I am here. "Glad your back" His attention is dragged over my shoulder and he directs his eyes to the cause. 

I turn around to see Lando standing at the entrance of the garage, like a statue, just starring at me as if a ghost appeared from his past. 

"He's with Luisinha now, like officially" Johan announces in my ear. 

"I know" I comment, but my attention unwavering from him. 

Our eyes fail to move from each other and it's like everything around us just disappears into nothingness. He stands there with his helmet in one hand, and allowing his eyes to travel the entire distance of my body, as if trying to convince his brain that his eyes are not betraying him. 

I force myself to place one foot in front of the other, closing the distance between us, yet he remains frozen in place. 

"It's going to be okay" I whisper to him as I come in ear distance. 

"You're here" he mutters. 

I smile comforting at him, "I wouldn't miss it" I confess. 

"You're here" he repeats as he allows himself to take one step closer to me. 

"I'm here" I nod.

"Because of me?" he asks as he diverts his eyes from either side to avoid being caught out by anyone else. 

My lips fold in to themselves as if forcing myself to hold in the truth, but I can't, I have to be honest, as long as I'm honest, I know I'll always have acted on my heart. "It's always been because of you" I confess with a pitiful chuckle. 

His breath shudders as if my confession releases his own withdrawal. 

For the first time in what seems like forever, he breaks eye contact as he glances down at the floor and then back at me, "I don't deserve your love, Evelyn." he whispers. "But you give it anyway, no matter what I've done to you" 

Grateful and heartbroken that he realises that, I can't argue with him. "It' going to be okay" I rest my hand on his shoulder and then turn around and walk back inside the garage, a place I know he can't follow me, with tears filling my eyes and a lump lodging itself so deeply inside my throat and chest, I feel like I've just received the closure I wasn't wanting. 

Like Lando and I finally reached a place of common ground. That no matter what, he was never going to accept my love, and that I was always going to be some what kind of in love with him. 

I don't turn around to watch him walk away. I couldn't. 

All the drivers get inside of their cars and practise 1 begins, I make myself comfortable on the chair in front of the monitors, placing the team radio headphones comfortably on top of my head.