Don't let go - Emily Prentiss & y/n

Don't let go

Major TW: Self - harm, suicide mention, depression. Please reach out to someone if you're struggling, and please don't read if you think it might trigger you <3

You fell asleep on Emily's chest again, listening to the sound of her heartbeat and the rising and falling of her chest as she breathed in and out.

Last night was everything you could have ever wished for. You wished you didn't have scars. You wished you didn't have all this trauma you had to keep locked away in an attempt to live a somewhat normal life. Yet, somehow despite the shame and the vulnerability you felt having to open up to Emily about your struggle with self-harm, she somehow made you feel normal.

You always thought that amount of consideration in another person would require years of them trying to understand you, if they even stuck around long enough to. Emily just seemed to know exactly what to say, even though you barely knew her.

Whilst you fell asleep with all of this filling your head, comforting you more than you ever thought possible, you didn't wake up with the same optimism.

As your eyes adjusted to the morning light filtering through the blinds, you quickly realised Emily wasn't cuddling you anymore. You weren't sure where she was, but instead of looking, you just stayed perfectly still, staring down at the pillow Emily had replaced her chest with.

Every morning had been a struggle recently, your body taking an extra half an hour or so to wake up after your eyes had. But today was different. Today, you didn't want to wake up. Dread filled your body, dragging your eyes back closed again.

When you woke again, you could feel a dip in the bed by your feet.

'Hey,' Emily said, leaning towards your eye-line, 'you're awake.' You didn't have it in you to say anything back. You just dropped your eyes back down to the pillow below you. Emily reached out for your hand next to your face. 'Can I get you anything? A coffee, some breakfast?' She asked, rubbing her thumb lightly over the back of your hand.

You just shook your head. You could feel your eyes getting heavy again. Emily took in your body language and sensed your exhaustion straight away.

'I'm gonna let you get some more rest, okay. There's a glass of water on your bedside table if you fancy it.' She said, leaving space for you to say something. You didn't. 'I can stay here with you, if you'd like...' your eyes started to flutter closed, '...or I have some paperwork I can be getting on with...' By this point you'd fallen back to sleep. She leant down and planted a kiss on your hand, then lifted herself up off the bed and left the room.

Emily couldn't focus on her paperwork. She was never one for taking her paperwork home anyway, she preferred to keep her work life and home life separate, even if this wasn't her home. She couldn't stop listening out for any movement through the door between the living room and the bedroom. She wanted more than anything to be there to comfort you, but she didn't know what you needed right now.

She looked across at the clock on the wall. 1:25pm. Ever since she'd started staying at your house, she'd only ever seen you get up at, the latest, 8am. Your job didn't really allow for lie-ins. She span her phone around in her hand, pressing the corners against the table to bring it round in her hand. She was thinking of calling someone else on the team, JJ, or Garcia, even, but she decided against it when she remembered nobody knew she was here.

After an hour of being unable to focus, she turned her paperwork over, accepting she wasn't going to get any of it done. She looked across at the doorway, debating what to do next. She decided to sit in the bedroom whilst you slept. She knew there was nothing she could do with herself right now other than making sure you were alright.