Alternate Dream

17. An Awkward Request

Fulton stood and placed a hand on the mantle in his office, staring down into the fire. The Pairing Ceremony was now less than 6 weeks away and all he could think of was Nina. The thought of her made his chest ache and his stomach twist. Many women had tried for his affection over the years but none had interested him in this way. After only a few days, Nina had his heart leaping and his mind imagining a future it shouldn't have been. He knew she'd find out his title eventually and want nothing more to do with him. He had every intention of telling her himself but the words seemed to stop in his throat every time, as if his body was fighting against losing her.

He still needed to warn her about the ceremony though, he knew she would need time to process that information. And also she would need to begin meeting the available men throughout The Capitol. His heart squeezed at that thought and his eyes closed tight. But the fact was simple. She needed to know who her options were before it was time for her to pick one. There were more men than women of age this year, she'd have her pick. He opened his mouth to get air, only to close it as he felt a wave of nausea.

"Fool" He thought to himself probably for the thousandth time. "You let yourself get too involved, knowing it would only cause you more pain." But even as he thought the words, he knew he'd never replace the time he shared with her. He thought of their time sitting by the fire in his sitting room following their dinner together. He couldn't remember the last time he'd laughed and smiled so much. Even now as it haunted him, he longed to see her smile and hear the sound of her laugh. They were like a weight off of his shoulders, he had felt lighter every time she was near. But the thought of her smiling and laughing with another man had his teeth clenching and his heart pounding.  So much time had passed since he'd seen her and he was hardly doing any better. He was struggling.

"My lord, there is someone who requests an audience with you."

"Can it not wait until the court session tomorrow? Have them added to the list."

"Apologies my lord, they insist this must be a private meeting."  

He raised his head up, straightened his back, and put on his signature calm and neutral demeanor as he turned and walked back to his desk, sitting in his chair as he faced the attendant. "Who is it? Lord Teegan again?"

"No My Lord, it is the outsider, Miss Nina."

Fulton practically jumped up from his chair, knocking over his water glass and causing his pen to fall to the floor and roll across the room toward the other man.  "Give me a few moments to clean this up, and then send her in."

"Yes, my lord."

As Fulton cleaned up the mess on his desk, he tried hard not to let his hopes get the best of him. There's no way she was here to see him because she missed him the way he missed her.  He had spent enough time telling himself that to believe it, despite Meece's constant arguing with him. He was taking long, slow breaths in an attempt to keep himself calm but he could do nothing for his racing heart inside his chest as the door opened again.

"My lord. Miss Nina Hall." The man nodded and moved to the side to let her enter. Fulton barely noticed the man exit shortly after, he was too busy staring at Nina. It had been 15 days since he'd last seen her.  15 excruciatingly long and agonizing days. He found he couldn't find words to address her, simply staring at her in disbelief. In a way, he almost hoped his usually stoic eyes showed her all the emotions he was feeling.

"Excuse me, um, is 'my lord' the proper way for me to address you as well? I would hate to address you inappropriately." His brows scrunched together. He wasn't sure what he expected, but he couldn't help but feel deflated at her cold tone.

He stood straighter and motioned for her to sit. "Please." She slowly did as he asked. "My lord, your highness, or a simple sir is fine many times as well. I do have the authority to allow people of my choosing to address me by my given name." Her eyes seemed to be glaring holes into his soul and he had never felt so insecure. "Although, even then it would not be appropriate to address me as such in front of others."  He cleared his throat in an attempt to hide his nervousness and move on. "You wished to speak with me?" He couldn't hide the confusion on his face as he asked the question.