Alternate Dream

5. Travel

"Oh, do you know what that bird is, Xander?" Finger pointed up in the tree and bouncing on her toes, Nina was struggling to control her excited curiosity.

"No, sorry." Xander seemed to just be chuckling at her all afternoon.

She had begun their journey chanting her positive thoughts and new experiences mantra to herself. The new experiences part was pretty well covered, that's for sure.  Positive thoughts were harder to come by.

But it wasn't very long into their journey, Nina became so focused on every new site and sound that she had no room in her mind for worry.

"Sorry, I just get very excited to see and learn new things."

"I can see that.  And don't worry, it makes the trip way more entertaining than usual."

She couldn't help but join in his laughter.

Xander picked a spot to set up camp for the night and she followed him around, taking in everything he did.  "So what made you pick this particular spot? Does it provide good shelter? Is the terrain better in case it starts raining during the night?  Oh, what is that you're doing now?"

"Well, the tree line is a good shape for helping to block out wind while not being too close to the fire I'll make." He looked at her with a half smile. "But mostly the ground was a good spot for our pads, not too many rocks or roots to sleep on.  My back's getting too old for that."

Again, they were laughing together.  They'd done a lot of that today. The more they interacted, the more he reminded Nina of her father. He might even look a little like him with a haircut and a shave.

The next day was more of the same. She had eventually told him the entire truth about how she ended up here with him but other than that they had kept any talk lighthearted. Nina knew she should be pressing for more information on her concerns but she was too afraid to bring it up.  So she asked what The Capitol was like, what kind of government they had, even what the weather was like throughout the seasons.

But as they were sitting at the fire on the second night, Xander finally asked a question of his own.   "You're really not a spy, are you?"

He didn't seem surprised by her shocked face.

"Of course I'm not a spy! I don't have a clue where I am, I don't have a clue how to take care of myself out here, or possibly at all for that matter."

She added that last part more quietly than the rest. She always loved and appreciated all her sister did for her but now that she didn't have her to turn to in an emergency as dire as this one, she truly realized how sheltered she was from the cares of the world.

"See, that's what I mean. You're so open. I can read all the emotions crossing your face. And you're so inquisitive about every little basic thing, never asking the questions you should be."  After that last statement his face turned a bit solemn.

"What questions should I be asking, Xander?" She couldn't hide the worry in her voice. Her thoughts returned to that guilty look he had earlier. The one he seemed to be repeating now.

"It's not for me to say, Nina"

She was pretty sure that was the first time he had said her name. It somehow provided her comfort. Like he was becoming a friend. 

"Zander. Come on, I know I get distracted by all the beautiful plants and scenery, but you have to know that on the inside I'm scared. Everything I've told you is true. I can't make sense of how I got here or where I am. I don't know if I'll ever make sense of it. Which means..."  Her bottom lip quivered. She jumped up quickly, it was like sitting still was suddenly painful to her.

"I don't know if I'll be able to go home. I miss my sister. She has to be worried out of her mind that I haven't called her or responded to her messages. And I know she'll blame herself. She always does. And I don't want to live with that guilt, Xander. I want to go home and tell her I'm ok!" The tears began to fall and she couldn't stop them. She couldn't even see Xander through her blurry vision.

She jumped when she felt Xanders hand touch her shoulder.  She hadn't even noticed him move.  "Nina, I'm sorry"

Through her sniffles she replied "it's ok, it's not your fault. You've done nothing but help me."

"No, you don't understand. I'm sorry for the situation you're in and what's about to happen. You're standing here worried about your sister when you should be worried about yourself. Which only proves to me further that you aren't a threat to us, but it also makes me worry for you."  She looked up at him now to see the guilt on his face so much clearer and stronger now.

"What do you mean?"

He looked away and went back to his spot by the fire, as if it pained him to look at her.

"Xander, what do you mean?!"

He looked up at her now with resolve. As if he wanted to own up to what he was about to say, and make sure she understood every bit of it.

"Nina. You showed up on Capitol lands, obviously an outsider with the way you are dressed.  And once you spoke, that was all the more clear.

When I brought you to my cabin, Hezron was there for his quarterly check-in. Of all the times for you to show up!" He ran his fingers through his peppery gray hair in frustration.

"What does that mean? Who is he? What happens to outsiders? Are they not treated well? Is he going to come for-"

He raised a hand to stop the spiral from going further.

"Hezron is the Capitol Commander, in charge of armed forces and all exterior stations. He shouldn't even be accompanying the teams doing check-ins and supply deliveries, but I believe he enjoys the time away from the crowds of the capitol. He does not like outsiders and assumes all are spies, thieves, or in general just someone planning to bring ill will to our people. And he treats them as such."

He paused, rubbing his chin in thought and then finally letting out a long sigh.

"He is not a bad man, really.  But his prejudices have further spurred hatred of outsiders within his ranks. This is why we don't get many outsiders, Nina.  They are not treated well here.  But I can speak no further, I have already said more than allowed and will be punished accordingly for my disobedience."

Nina's eyes somehow grew even larger at that last statement.  "Xander, they can't punish you! You've done nothing wrong!" She began to pace again. "I just won't tell anyone what you've told me. They won't have to know. There's no use in both of us being unjustly punished because I suddenly showed up on your doorstep!"

"That's what you're worried about?! Me?!  You're not even asking what's going to happen to you!"  He was in disbelief.

"Xander you have been nothing but kind, I've told you this. I appreciate all you've done for me. I don't want any harm to come to you. Besides, you remind me of my father and-"   She cut herself off. The tears threatened to fall again.

Xander approached and returned his hand to her shoulder. "Nina"

She looked up at him.

"My father died when I was young. I couldn't do anything for him. But I can do something for you. The way you and I have laughed together these past couple days has been like having him with me again." Her voice began to falter. "Having him with me when I needed him most. Let me hold this secret and prevent you from being punished, Xander. Do that for me."

He wrapped his arms around her and embraced her in a hug.