The Blondes of Bel-Air

GEMMA

"Did you hear?" Edwin asked, flattening down the crease in his green plaid pants.

"Hear what?" Lily asked as she slid her sunglasses on, it was a bright morning and we knew the sun caused wrinkles. She wore new Gucci sunglasses with gold metallic frames and wondered out loud if Shayla would comment. Anything with gold accents or trim, Shayla was drawn to, like a baby or a Real Housewife.

We sat at our usual spot on the lawn before the morning bell rang at school. Edwin arrived a few minutes late that morning and did a glorified skip up to where we sat in the shade of a palm tree. I checked my phone for emails while Shayla did some last-minute reading for her chemistry class. She rubbed her temples and barely gave Edwin any attention.

"About Penny! Girl, how are you out of this loop?" Edwin raised his eyebrows, sinking down into a crossed-leg position that showed his whale-printed socks and Hermes loafers.

Lily made a face. "I don't know if I know or not. What could possibly be new with our dear friend Kooky Chikafuji? Was she finally committed?"

"Lily!" I gasped. "Not nice."

Lily shrugged and nudged me. "Sorry, my sensitive little Gemma."

"Rumor has it that she's staying in a private suite at the hospital. It's costing daddy Chikafuji over six thousand dollars per night and get this, the room comes complete with a concierge, daily muffin basket, juice bar, and a mani/pedi service. I heard through my top-secret Hollywood sources that this is the place where a certain A-lister gave birth to twins!" He snapped his fingers. "I almost wish you pushed me down the stairs!"

Lily and I exchanged looks.

I cleared my throat, "Winny, no one pushed her."

"If she didn't wear those absolutely ridiculous heels, she would have been fine. She slipped and fell. It was totally accidental. Gemma, how are your ribs where she rammed into you?" Lily lowered her sunglasses so her eyes met mine.

I held up the corner of my tank top borrowed from my mother of all people, to show my ribs, discolored in the place where Penny had crashed into me. Shayla looked up from her book and scowled.

"Don't you have makeup for that or how about a tan? You look like an animal carcass! This one time, we were in Dubai-"

"Not the dead goat story Shayla!" Edwin held up his hand. "And Gemma, pull that shirt down for several reasons, the ribs being number one! Ack." Edwin shivered. "Gross Gemma, I didn't need to see your bra."

I yanked the shirt down. "Thanks a lot, Win. Well, I hate to say it, but I won't be doing yoga for a while and I'll have to skip that Pilates session Shayla. But however bad I feel, I'm fairly certain Penny is much worse."

Shayla and Lily nodded. Edwin sighed. "Yeah, but she's much worse in a hospital room that rivals the Regency Beverly Wilshire getting waited on hand and foot so who's worse off, hmm? I mean, think about it, we're stuck at school while she's lounging!"

"Great, thanks, guys! This will do for now."

The production assistant signaled for the crew to turn off the lights and put down the mike. They began to break down their equipment so they could head inside the school in time for the bell to ring and get more footage of the glamorous and privileged youth of Bel-Air. We started taking off our portable mic packs.

"I never thought being a reality show star could be so exhausting, but it is!" Shayla cried, placing a hand dramatically on her head. Today she wore a gold headband and bold gold eyeliner to match.